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I’m draining people, Because I’m scared of my insecurities and scared to let somebody go. It hurts to see how many people I know leave me because of it. And it’s terrible. I’m scared, And I don’t know what to do. I’m really worried, Really scared. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to stop being this version of myself that feels like too much. All I know is that I’m scared. Really scared.

It’s the way I want constant reassurance, The way I crave attention more than I probably should, The way I feel almost needy just for someone’s presence. And I hate it, because I don’t want to be “ too much ” for people. I don’t want them to see me as annoying or overwhelming. But at the same time, I can’t help it. I just want to be close, To be safe. To know that somebody won’t leave me behind. It’s exhausting. Being this self aware, But still not knowing how to stop. I just wish I could be " enough " without needing so much. I wish I could be easy to love. Easy to stay with, But Instead, I feel like Iam constantly fighting this hard part of myself that wants more. more. more. more. and more. It sounds like greed to the point where that sickens me. My clingyness sickens me, My greed sickens me, I sicken me. It’s filthy. I don’t wanna keep draining people for my fuckery. It sickens me so much to see how horrible I am. And It’s disgusting. Absolutely Disgusting and sickening.