Please don't-

And I'll do this dance.

Black Guy Dancing In Maid Outfit – 00:09
— CAM

I'm really proud of this :D I'd say this is my second best one!

@Depression-Anxiety-Therapy
@everyone
These are all the entries from this and last year.

Thank you for reading my diary
and my comments/Messages were sent to my online therapist.

(This happened yesterday Feb, 26 2023)

Anyways, So it all started yesterday at about 9:00-11:00 Am. I was watching TV. the show on youtube I was watching was about a trans guy on, youtube channel named, "The Offensive (T-Slurr)" He was explaining Lgbt stuff. Kinds like Blair white. Anyways, I was minding my own business when My dad Who was already down stairs told me to change what I was watching as It was not educational and It was just rotting my brain and stuff. I got a little heated as I was getting really interested. So I told him to just leave the room cause I wasn't changing it. And Besides, My sister got to watch whatever tomfoolery she wanted. He said, "I don't care. Change it" I yelled back as I have a short fuse, "I don't want to!" And my mom heard it. She yelled, "What did you say?!" And I said Nothing. She called me upstairs and I went slowly. I stood by her doorframe frustrated that I can't even watch tv without being bothered. She Asked what was I watching that made dad so mad. I told her In excitement as I was really interested "I was watching a trans man talk about LgbtQ stu-" She Interrupts me and says, "Firstly, we don't watch any of that LGBf3 stuff. that stuff is the devil. D-E-V-I-L. we don't believe in any of that because you'll go to hell. H-E-L-L. From now on you are not to watch, or listen, to anything LGB3 Related. It's a sin." I started to look away and cry as a few months before this she accepted me as Bisexual and non binary. But as time went on, she started to show that she didn't actually care. As she didn't use He/they and didn't like me using Haven as my preferred name. Now, She told me how she really feels. I thought she loved me as she said the day she told me That she accepted but Actually, she thought I was sinning. That I was a horrible child for ever believing or even being a part of the Lgbt+ Community. It shows a whole new perspective of how she actually thought when she said the few words "I accept and love you." Now, I don't know how to feel or even If I should trust her anymore.

(This happened last year)

Just last year, She called me A piece of (Crap) but used the more harsh word. It was because I brought my ear buds to school with out her knowing but I only needed them for a day. And every time I explained that I would put them back she kept saying "Oh so you thought you could hide it from me? You thought I wouldn't Notice." Everytime I said No She said "Yeah?" Like She was making it seem like I was saying Yes? And Getting herself even more mad. The week or day after she called me that I don't know when we brought Up what happened and she told me she didn't know She said that. It was such a big thing How could I Remember everything but she just didn't. She remembered all the events leading up she just told me she didn't remember herself saying that I was a peice of (Crap) She ended up apologizing while saying "Piece of (Crap)" Over and over again which really triggered me. I told her she can stop saying that and she was Just like "I didnt mean to use Piece of (Crap), I'm just saying sorry for calling you a Piece of (Crap)" Ect.

Online therapist: "What stresses you out"

my mom stresses Me out. She's constantly reminding me about work I need to be doing and chores and grades and watching my sibling and filling her cup and giving her some food. I feel that I'm the parent here. But then If I complain I would get scolded for being ungrateful. for being lazy. I just want to be left alone. I want to sometimes just.. Harm myself. But Like I don't Want to tell somebody this and they immediately just search up hotlines for me to call and therapists for me to book. I want them to just. Listen. I want to see what's beyond life. So I can be free and Safe from all stress. Cause this just isn't it.

(Another Story)

One time I even Put a Knife up to my left wrist It was like 4 am. And I just stood there for like 3 minutes. I ended up putting the knife back and going back to sleep. I didn't do anything. I just stood there crying.

Online therapist: "Why do you want to die"

Because I've been through alot. It's almost like life is just Kicking me around. I lost my best friend, My Current ex best friend backstabbed me and Gaslit me, My mom stresses me out constantly and doesn't let me do my own thing, My dad just follows my mom, My counsorlors just talk about suicide hotlines and talk to my parents who are the main problem, and my friends just.. Ignore me. I'm an overthinker and over analyze everything. Even the way people type to me or how I type to people. and All I get after telling anyone that is that I'm overthinking everything and or I'm being ungreatful or lazy.

(Another Story)

I've been so close to the point very close. One time I went on my balcony which was 3 floors up. I climed over the rialing and just sat there crying. I was scared. I just claimed back up and sat on my bed and broke down.

(Another story)

I've also Had a dream of my 4 year old sister who I envyed for having so much attention dying. She was in my arms and she was squirming too much. I was on the Balcony and she fell out of my arms, Falling all the way down. three floors to be at least. I watched her die. I then woke up in a cold sweat and I hugged my sister and cried until about 6am.

@lgbt

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbpWu4U/

The person in this video is getting harassed and bullied by mean and enbyphobic, homophobic, and transphobic people, they are non-binary and lesbian, but the person in the video does not look any of the sorts. People just think that non-binaries and lesbians look a certain way. Still, since this person does not look like the generic, non-binary, or lesbian, and they look like a grown man, everyone is getting heated, making up stories. The most common story that I've heard was that they were fetish sizing on other lesbian women when they made a stitch on tiktok. I certainly do not believe that because I searched his profile on tiktok and saw little to nothing, and when I mean little to nothing, I mean, little to nothing of what they're talking about, yes, I did see stitched videos with women, but it wasn't that it was just them supporting women and supporting the LQBTQ+, autism and any other disability, sexuality or gender anyone has they we're just being kind all over the profile, they are also autistic so they couldn't do much to defend themselves, so the hate comments are getting worse, by the second, I feel bad for barely standing up to the haters, but I don't really know if I could keep this standing up going on because I just sent 3 comments about supporting non binary lesbians, and I'm getting a bunch of hate, and I don't know what to do. I'm trying to stick up for my fellow non binary lesbian, but it's really hard, so I me need you all to help me stand up for this being because they for right now, because I am not joking, but their comments section it's no support, just, hate, hate, hate, hate.

If you don't believe that non binary lesbians exist, and or you don't think nonbinary lesbians are valid, here are 2 videos that prove and support non binary lesbians as being valid
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbsL4B7/
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbs2A7g/

TL;DR: this non binary lesbian is getting bullied because they don't look like the typical emo goth creature everyone thinks non binaries and lesbians look like. I need help supporting the enby in the comments of the first tiktok

:p

Did this in class- got some looks I also forgot to erase the guide lines but it's wtvr 😁

I haven't been on MPP For a while since I have a lot of school work and I'm starting to keep up with my channel So I've decided to quit. I will be leaving a few comments here and there but I won't be fully active on MPP

Thank you for the support over 2 years.
Special thanks to @Shazz_ for being a good person.

Here is my Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyTHnUiQTBnPjo2_hO7jwmg

DM Me on Instagram @dmon_clxud

I'm also on the anime live stream game called reality with the name d-mon_clxud
Download It on Android and apple.

@ŦħɇꝀɨłłɇɍȻłøwn No I didn't have time Yesterday I'll do it either today Or Tomorrow

@Ms-Steal-ur-girl ye

@Creati132 I got a -3

@Fleur ok

This cute alt boy

This cute character with this pose

and a frog Ima do a sleeping frog and call it sleepy boi

@Fleur You want me to draw the frog or both the lettuce and the frog?

@yourlocalkitkat almost like god just said, "Fuck you you named a river you die in one bish"

@yourlocalkitkat

@yourlocalkitkat he ded

@yourlocalkitkat As a black person I agree