
Knoxzee
@Knoxzee
My profile picture is actually me
Now i'm quite fond of my mother π©.
But there's one β thing that really gets on my nerves π
π And π that π is π names π
Now I π know some people have difficulty π© with new π people, rememberingπtheir names β indeed I do
But π I have seen her nearly every day π
for 16 years β³
And on occasion π₯³ she does just look π at me and forget π who I am
The other day π
she called π£ me the name of her dog πΆ who has been dead πfor 20 years
And I understand π©βπ i'm not the most important π€¨ thing in her life π½
But i'd like π to think that i'm a bit π§ higher up β her mental address book π
Than Scrap π
R.
I.
P.
β°Scrapβ°
Is that too much to ask β I dont think π€ͺ I'm being unreasonable π£
Ry fr the best person in the world. I would die 4 her. And if anyone does anything bad to her, I'm gonna find YOU fucker.
Best posts made by Knoxzee
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RE: To all of you. I'm sorry.
Woah woah, slow down there. No one is mad at you. It's quite the opposite, we care about you. We want you to feel loved because you are. Times have been tough for a lot of people, your not alone. I know distractions only help for a tiny bit but at least its something. Fidget toys, journaling, drawing, listening to music and other things might help. Screaming into your pillow helps too. And if people judge you, scream at them. They dont matter! Only you do. Take some time and think about yourself, not others, just you. We want you to be okay. If you arent, thats okay too. You will be loved either way, no matter what happens. You are a beautiful kind spirit! If you need anything, we're here :P
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I think my neighbor has been watching me
(NOT MY STORY)
so i got depressed when i was like 13 or 14. It kinda came out of the blue. I was a super hyper and friendly kid. But one day i just couldnt get out of bed. it was summer break so school wasnt stressing me out. Neither was my family, nothing new was happening. I lost 5 pounds in one week and refused to talk to my parents or siblings. I had this journal which i wrote in almost every day, i literally wrote almost every detail of the day down. Even tho i was super sad, i couldnt break my stride. When i wrote down everything i felt and did that day, i read it, at the time i didnt see anything wrong with it. Every few hours i would have lots of intrusive thoughts to hurt myself or others. After a month my parents took down my doors, you read that right, undid my door, off the frame and took it away! It was the only way they could talk and see me. Btw, I hated this, i had a ton of anxiety attacks that made me freak out until i was screaming on the floor. I was changing my clothes maybe once a week or longer, so my mom tried to take me shopping but i couldnt. My body was so frail and tired. So she went to the store and facetimed me so i could pick out the stuff i wanted to wear. She was surprised that i picked out all black stuff, a few chains and some "emo" things she would call them. I didnt really care, it was the stuff i wanted. Also, i chopped off my hair into a short non-binary haircut. After almost a full year, i started to gain my energy back. Little by little. Now i could get myself to the kitchen and eat a small banana. over a few more months, i was talking to my parents a few times a day, joking and laughing. One night, i was in my room and saw my journal under my bed. I hadnt writen in it since almost a year ago. When i looked at the last date and read what i put. I was completely shocked. Most of it was stuff like "I should kill myself tonight" and other gruesome stuff. So, of course i put the book down, never to read it again. I was still having small mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks but they were more spaced out. My life was getting back to normal. Every day, i went outside, walked around a bit then came back inside. My walks were pretty long, i walked in my backyard, well, i wouldnt call it a backyard. My neighbors on the side of me didnt have any fences, neither did my family. None of us had any security cameras cuz it was just a farm land really. One of my neighbors was an old man, he was friendly i guess. and the other was a young couple that "werent" dating. I hear those sounds at 3am, you know. I never really thought anything about them. But one day, i was having a mental breakdown and an anxiety attack at the same time. They kept getting worse and worse cuz they triggered each other. But i needed to get outside, maybe that would cure it. So i go outside and have it...for 6 hours- So when i come back inside, i sleep cuz it was late. The next day the same thing happens but with suicidal thoughts. For the next week it continues to happen, every day, each one of them getting longer and longer. My dad was calling the old man neighbor just to check in, i, be nosy, go to the kitchen where he is at, pretending to get food. On the phone i hear the old man say, "hey, i forgot to tell you but about a few months ago, i got these security cams, one of them is on the side of my house so it gets your backyard too! Every time theres a movement, i get notified, and you know me, always have my phone on me." i drop my glass cup, making to shatter all over the floor. Glass flings into my body, yay. Dad hangs up the phone and goes over to help me. Asking me whats wrong, i respond with the classic 'idk'. Later on, i go over to his house and knock. No one answers the door so i come back two hours later and knock again, no answer. so i decide im going to walk in the house, i didnt know what i was thinking but i did. I called his name multiple times, no answer. But i see his computer so i go over to it. Im convinced to find out if hes been watching me. Going to his flies, i see one named 'babgirl' so i click on it. My face pops up. I continue to find videos and edited photos of my face on other bodies. Just then, a hand lays a firm grip on my shoulder. I turn around to see the old man. You wont believe what he says.. -
Time for my story timeeeee
okay so like a year ago, my brother was on a baseball team and i had to go to all his games, there was games almost every day of the week besides Sunday, FOR THE WHOLE SUMMER AND THEN HE PLAYS FALL BALL, okay ANYWAYS- its okay tho cuz i had a crush on this hot guy:) however, he was my brothers enemy:( like they would throw rocks at each other and stick gum in each others hair, and hes totally not apart of my church!! my chances are RUINED however, it only went up hill from here:) so at one of the baseball games, i was staring my crush down cuz hes so hot and HE LOOKS DIRECTLY IN MY EYES LIKE AHHHH THEN HE WINKS from there on out i knew we was going to date but then the seasoned ended before we could even talk to each other:(
moving forward to this year
my brother didnt get accepted onto the same team so my crush wont be on it!!!!! so my brother panics cuz he wants to be on that team!! and he applies for another team and gets declined, i hate baseball games but what am i going to do for half my summer? anyways, so my brother applies for the last baseball team he can think of and gets ACCEPTED!! FINALLY! and its the best team out of all of them but like y didnt u apply their first- DOESNT MATTER, anyways- me, being nosy, wakes up at four am to hear the convo thats going on between my mum, brother and grandma, and my mum says "theres a chance [crush's name] might be on the team" BRO I WAS SO HAPPY LIKE I ALMOST SCREAMED but i went back to bed:) yay
moving forward again until today where i snuck up to hear my brothers convo with my grandma and my brother was like, "[crush's name] was at the [church's] meeting" LIKE UHM...WHAT? HES APART OF OUR CHURCH? IGHT IM DATING HIM RN
there is no stopping me>:) -
New favorite animal
i was looking back through old discord messages and saw myself spamming "TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL TUTEL"
and tutels are pretty cute c:
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I love it when
im like talking to someone in a vc and i say "ily"
and there just like "...i love you tooπ₯°" and then after the call there like "no ones ever said that to me before:>"
its SOO cute
everyone should be loved<3
(im thinking of starting a series of putting everything i love..maybe) -
Well now we know....
what happened to Lavender
Lavender Face Mask β 00:29
β Dr Ryan
Latest posts made by Knoxzee
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RE: Burd casually being sus pt.2
MHHHHHH SEXY BANNER OMG SMASHHB π€π€β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈππ
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RE: Am I ok if I want to just, yknow, end myself?
you act like Iβm not even here, you donβt even tell my best friend, whatβs up
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RE: Things Only Girls Will Understand.
I learned a trick to not sneeze when itβs that time, it tricks your senses into thinking it already happened
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RE: Iβm fine..
stfu
literally just talk to me, Iβm here
For yah
like always
and forever
and never
at the same time
so dm? -
RE: It's time to expose myself. π
@KillorSæns who is that
Did you do something bad or something;-; -
RE: I'm not gonna be online now bye
@LifeIsFuckingSad-Jordan relatable thoβ¦ I canβt swim