Yuka.....I am so sorry that this is happening to you....while part of me doesn't want you to go since I consider you a new friend, I don't want to force you to stay.....I just want to let you know that, even if it may not seem noticeable, you are loved by the people who care for you, myself included, and if you ever need to talk....don't be afraid to talk; I'll be here for as long as I can, but even I have limits to when i come onto mpp or mpp community.I just want to let you know, friend..that I care for you, and if you do choose to leave, I wish you all the best; losing someone you love is not easy. I lost my grandfather a few years ago; the pain is there, but I've made my peace with it, even if it took a little time.
You are doing a very noble thing putting your money to the people who can't afford it, but make sure you also have enough for yourself too.
You take care of yourself, friend.
It was nice to meet you :)