Apparently the way I function isn’t right according to my mom. It’s something bad. The fact that when I drink water after waking up it feels like throwing up in reverse, and the fact that I can’t move my face sometimes and it feels like it’s tingling heavily.
She thinks she can find a way to “Fix me”, but if there was a way I would’ve done it already. I’m in so much constant pain, and I don’t know how to feel, so I always make it seem like I’m happy in front of my family and people in public so they don’t have to spend time focusing on me. So that I don’t seem like I’m looking for attention.
Mom says I can talk to her about how I feel, but whenever I do that she always invalidates my feelings and writes me off as some sort of object that should just ‘get more exercise and it will be fixed’.
Today my entire body was hurting, I had lost my drawing tablet cord and my headphones cord, plus the fact that I kept getting yelled at. I kept it all in and acted nice until the end of the day where I let loose a tiny bit.
Mom told me to stop ‘fake crying’, and said it was all due to not moving around enough. I move around a lot compared to my brother, so why isn’t she telling him this?!
I don’t wanna be here.
don’t respond if you don’t want to, it’s alright. Just please don’t be mean. I don’t feel good right now, so I might respond harshly as well.
