Trauma Bonds
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Something my therapist recently talked to me about that I wanted to share.
(She sent me a Psych2Go video to use to write this for our next session)
Trauma bonds, what are they? Trauma bonding is a complex psychological phenomenon that forms in toxic relationships such as those involving narcissists, or in simple, its a cycle that creates attachment and a false feeling of love. Love in these relationships is dangerous to your mental health. An example of this kind of relationship is Harley Quinn and the Joker, it starts with traumatic roots, as a psychology intern, Harley Quinn treats the Joker at Arkham Asylum, the Joker notices her vulnerability and praises her for her ambition, then shares stories of his abusive childhood and uses self-humiliation as humor. Then, he does something of the sexual sort without her consent, blurring boundaries and he claims dominance over Harley. In that moment, Harley sees shelter in him, he comforts her. And this is how trauma bonds are born.
Out of his sharing of traumatic events and usage of her weakness, he bonds her to him using his trauma. Now, trauma in this relationship can cause a similar reaction to that of arousal and distinguishing the two can be hard. Using this, it leads your brain to believe the abuser is a source of safety. After this comes lovebombing, where a person influences you with attention and affection. Then, this person takes it away causing you to develop attachment and a need for that love that was taken away from you, a cycle of this can make it hard for you to leave this relationship.
Now. how do you identify a trauma bond? Signs of trauma bonds include but are not limited to:
-Lying or covering up the abuse to others
-Trying to explain or justify your partner’s defects in a positive light
-Feeling uncomfortable or unable to state your feelings, opinions, or boundaries
-Altering your behavior or morals to please your partner
-Being aware of your partners wants and expectations to avoid abuse
-Showing signs of PTSD or suspicion of others who point out the abuse
-Getting defensive over the abuse your partner causesHow do I leave a trauma bond?
-Find resources to help you leave an abusive situation
-Communicate your needs clearly and assertively
-Disengage and retract from the situation
-Face your feelings, its okay to be upset or in denial
-Validate yourself, your feelings are completely valid and okayYou have to recognize the bond for what it is and get help leaving the situation. If you need help, call 800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.
Any edits? This is also supposed to go on my schools news page due to an abusive situation recorded in the bathroom but any suggestions, tips?
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I just really hope that girl sees it. Shes still with him after everything he did and I’m scared for her ngl.
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@omgitsfinneas He plays football so hes a lot stronger than she is and she can’t fight him off.
