vent ig
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Okay. So yesterday my mom called me to tell me my nana died. And she told me not to shutdown, to talk to her, and not to hide behind humor. But I donโt want to. I donโt. I prefer keeping my emotions to myself and not really saying anything because itโs hard to talk about things like that. My nana really loved me and supported me through everything. And I wanted to cry yesterday, but I couldnโt figure out how. I like using humor as a cope, she knows this. Iโm trying man. I really am and Iโm so glad shes free from her pain but itโs hard. Literally no one else from my family besides my mom, dad and sister came to support me at marching band events. She was at every one no matter how far away it was until the cancer hit. Then she couldnโt but sheโd watch every live stream and call me about 20 minutes later and tell me how proud she was. Which was hard for her, because the cancer was in her throat. She was just such a happy spirit, she was so free. She wants her ashes to be spread in the ocean. She used to make us laugh and smile and I love her so much she loved picking at people (as a joke), she gave great advice. She used to do my hair and ask about my life. And itโs hard to lose her. And I donโt wanna talk to my mom. Considering last time I saw her she got mad at me because the kitchen wasnโt clean, called me lazy, useless and saoid she wishes she never had me. And her excuse was โOh Iโm going through a lot.โ
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damn, im sorry
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๐๐ rylie Rylie?
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@finneass that actually made me cry, im sorry. that took me a minute to read so thats why i typed the first out first bc i had to read it like twice
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@Michi4959 wsg
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๐๐ rylie the rylie from like months ago?
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@Michi4959 sure
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๐๐ rylie yes or no
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@Michi4959 yeah
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๐๐ rylie u sure about that?
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@Michi4959 yeah
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@Michi4959 im literally like the only rylie thats here ๐
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๐๐ rylie So do you kno me
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@Michi4959 i dont even remember but dm me instead of talking on an important topic ๐
