My mom being the most hilarious drunk woman ever

[A Former User]

(She no longer drinks this was in 2017/2018 when she was depressed but she’s all good now)

Mom: Walks up to me and licks my cheek
Me: Ewwww wth
Mom: Your dad said you tasted like ketchup.

Mom: HEY [insert my irl nickname], YOU’RE A MISTAKE
Me: Wah-
Mom: I ACCIDENTLY HOOKED UP WITH [insert my biological dad’s name] AND SUDDENLY, I WAS PREGNANT, I’M GLAD YOU KNOW YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE IN MY LIFE. LOVE YOU

Mom: Pulls me in and whispers in my ear : Your dad is hot

Mom: DID YOU KNOW SPICY DORITOS WERE SPICY?!??!??!?!?
Me: Yes?
Mom: oH, sO nOw YoU’rE a SmArTaSs

Mom: Do you know how you have sisters?
Me: What do you mean
Mom: Me and your dad were in the bed, and, somehow we had a kid 9 months later

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Dear mother, you were the best drunk woman i’ve ever seen, get drunk again so I find more hilarious things you say <3

[A Former User]

@Creati132 said in My mom being the most hilarious drunk woman ever:

get drunk again so I find more hilarious things you say <3

Perhaps that’s not a good idea.

[A Former User]

@Duchess I know, she had her bad drunk moments, but she had more hilarious ones lol

[A Former User]

@Creati132 Better than my mom, After i was born my mom got wrapped up in a bunch of drugs and left for a long time, then came back and acted like everything was just hunky dory.

[Shinra Kusakabe]

@Creati132
I feel bad but it’s funny lol

[A Former User]

@Yourlocalwizard Why do you feel bad-? And I know it’s funny, that’s why I posted it

[A Former User]

none of my family drinks lol