noels lament (my audition song for the play)

[finn.in.outer.space.]

In my life, I was Noel Gruber who worked at Taco Bell in Uranium City, Saskatchewan

But, in my dreams, I played a different role
I was Monique Gibeau in post-war France
A hooker with a heart of black charcoal

I write poems to burn by firelight
Drink champagne and guzzle gin
Good girls call me the town bicycle
Don’t knock it till you’ve tried my life of sin

Oh, Claude, my pimp, knows never mess with me
Last prick did that faded quick to black
I have no idea where to find him, officers
But if you do, please mention that I’d like to have returned
The pretty knife that I stuck ten times in his back

For I sing songs until the break of dawn
I embrace a new man every night
My life’s one never-ending carnival
A world of boozy-floozy flashing light
I want to be that fucked-up girl

He said: I think I am in love with you
I’ve heard that lie a million times before
Oh, tonight I give in to the fantasy
Take love when you can, when you’re a whore

For I sing songs until the break of dawn
I embrace a new man every night
My life’s one never-ending carnival
A world of boozy-floozy flashing light
I want to be that fucked-up girl

So now I sell my love for opium
In some rat-infested Chinese dive
At night I burn myself with cigarettes
Just to somehow prove I’m still alive

Eight months later, I catch typhoid flu
Kicked out, I see the ugly light of day
Dying in an alley, a priest kneels down to me

My child, do you have any final words to the Lord you’d like to say?

Oui. Tell him that, like him, I choose to burn out rather than fade away

For I sing songs until the break of dawn
I embrace a new man every night
My life’s one never-ending carnival
A world of boozy-floozy flashing light

For I sing songs until the break of dawn
I embrace a new man every night
My life’s one never ending carnival
A world of boozy-floozy flashing light
I want to be that fucked-up girl

I wanna be that fucked-up girl
(Broken heart, a flask of gin)
(Tattooed with a safety pin)
(Teeth all stained with nicotine)
(Running nylons, shattered dreams)
(Super crusty, holy terror)
(Wild eyes and black mascara)

(Broken heart, a flask of gin)
(Tattooed with a safety pin)
(Teeth all stained with nicotine)
(Running nylons, shattered dreams)
(Super crusty, holy terror)
(Wild eyes and black mascara)

If I could have just one dream
(If he could have just one dream)
I’d be that fucked-up girl! Hey!