I won't be here, and this is why.
I've been failing all my classes. Y'see, we can't have that in high-school. I need to focus and do better in my classes, and being here really isn't helping me pass. But this is just one reason.
I've been stressed out lately. I've been wondering if I can actually trust my close friends and family with my secrets, because I'm shit out of luck with people not being fucking rats.
Well, now! If you'd like to know why this is...
Today, I had a long stressful day of school, with very little sleep to rely on. I finally get home and walk through the front door, glad to be home, away from never-ending loud ass conversations (honestly, students don't know when to shut the fuck up). I get to my room and take my shoes off, set my bag down, put my keys back in my door, and just as I was about to leave my room, I hear my aunt storm past my door into my grandfathers room. I hear her say some shit like, "James-" (her son, my younger cousin.) "-told me that _____-" (me.) "-told him that..." I wasn't able to hear anything else after that, but I'm already pissed off because I never told James to tell her anything I said, whether it was good or bad. I go out into the former art studio, which James currently uses as a "room." I walk up to him, making it as obvious as possible that I'm pissed off at him, and say: "So, I just heard someone say that you told them I told you..???" He, instead of telling me what the fuck he said, went: "I'm sorry, ____." Which REALLY pisses me the fuck off. So.
"No, tell me what the fuck you told her."
"I told her that you told me you don't see a point in living anymore and that you wanted to die.."
"Y'know what? Stop talking, go sit the fuck back down. Bye."
That was the end of that little conversation. Mind you, I told him that this conversation was strictly between me and him. I know that now, my aunt is gonna tell every fucking body else in the house, and then everybody in the house is gonna start telling everybody outside the house how it is that I feel, and now nobody's going to shut the fuck up and try to have "serious conversations" with me and interrogate me as to why I don't want to be alive, and I think that you can relate with me about this subject in particular and why it is that I don't want to be bothered about it.
All of this altogether is a reason why I don't want to be here anymore. Let me elaborate.
I'm probably going to be mistreated for my point of view of life. I'm not going to be allowed to leave my room, let alone my house. I can only exit my room to get water and use the bathroom. I can't even eat food outside of my room. My electronic devices will get taken away, thus I won't be able to be here any further.
That's all, have a good day.
Let me add:
Because of fucking course they want to take away my only joy on this planet.
I can't believe I'm being forced to lie to everybody in the house now.
Tripod Alpha last edited by
Misty Marie Gardner All Hail The Vuvuzela last edited by
Just say your cousin made it up.
A Former User last edited by
@it-s-just-sen said in I won't be here, and this is why.:
I've been failing all my classes.
I'm in the 53% of people in math- pretty sure im failing too :)
finn aka shaggy $t0p D1cKr1dIng last edited by
I'm sorry Sen, your mental health is more important, focus on IRL not us.