@Balavin-Dread Whatโs the reason you donโt care about yourself?
Edit: wait you said you didnt want to talk about it. Thatโs fine. I hope you find the confidence to seek some help though.
Edit again: But I would like to add in, it sounds like you donโt think you deserve to have someone stay with you. I really really hope you figure out that you do deserve happiness too. And discarding yourself and your feelings will not be a longterm answer.