Sometimes when i’m sad i stare at the stars. I wait until the day i can watch them with my boyfriend. Then i’ll be happy. Until then all i have are my tarot cards and crystals while i watch the stars. Even if im supposed to only do tarot readings when i have good energy i like them more when im sad. I understand what the cards mean more when im sad. I cried on my roof last night. I had to take my binder off and i wanted to die. But I didnt end it. I didn’t wanna make Ash sad. I send him good morning texts every day. Even when i wake up really late. The time doesnt matter much when im thinking to send him anything. Even if i dont have anyone else, i have him. But i have a few friends I care about. Like Rylie, ive known him since december 19th 2021. He was my second friend on mpp. He’s basically my best friend. Even though things arent always right between me and him, ill try to fix it. We can just talk shit abt people. I can cry to him abt stuff and he helps me. Honestly, I love him platonically. I think my favorite song right now is Meteor Shower by cavetown. Ash really likes it. He posted on his story a pic of me with “I’d sell my own bones for sapphire stones cuz blue is your favorite color” it made me happy. He makes me happy. I feel safe when I talk to him. When i meet him i will be safe, ill be out of the hell im trapped in now. I’ll be ok then.
