@Cyx What exactly makes you feel out of place/weird? It’s normal to feel that way, but people usually do because of lack of self-confidence. Which you clearly dont have much from what I’m reading. Do you not feel confident even with your girlfriend?
I remember you posting about you not liking your body in the past. If you were “skinnier,” do you think you’d feel less out of place and weird? Or does your physical image not have anything to do with feeling weird/annoying.
The pressure to be happy in the middle of sadness is real. I really hate that people feel like they have to hide their true feelings. Sadness is just as valid as happiness. Im sure you know that. putting it into action is a lot more difficult. I think overcoming that fear is really hard, but it is possible.