bro. itβs not fun. it doesnβt make me feel like a better person. it just makes me feel played and dumb, and like i shouldβve fucking been petty in the first goddamn place. i feel betrayed and i donβt feel like i got my get back like they said i would. it doesnβt make me feel mature, it just makes me feel stupid and weak. and i fucking hate this shit. i shouldβve done the same shit she did to me back to her to let her know how it feels and why im so fucking hurt by the fact she did what she did.
To explain the situation, thereβs this guy iβm friends with, J, and this girl Iβm friends with, S. Me and S have been friends since last quarter of last school year, but shes always been of the messy sort yk. Like the kind to always be with someone like a new person every 2 days which isnβt an exaggeration, like shes always in drama or some shit. But J and I have been friends for a long time, like we met on insta in 6th grade and met irl last year bc we went to the same school. And what I didnβt know was he had a crush on me. Now, as we all know I am dating someone, and I am happy in that relationship and have no interest in being poly as my mental health isnβt good enough for me to support 3 peoples mental health at once. Itβs not bad necessarily, because yes I have bad days, but I recognize them, and I have better days and I think thats what makes good mental health is understanding your feelings. But anyways, S told J that I like him. Which is false, I love him so much because heβs my best friend, but I donβt see him in a romantic way and I likely never will. Heβs not my type. I mean heβs cool and I wish him nothing but the best in romantic endeavors but me and him are never gonna happen lmao. So I try to talk to S about it and understand the situation, like the bigger person, instead of cussing her out like I really wanted to do, but I didnβt. I talked to her, she said she never said that, and I would believe her because what is any kind of relationship without trust? But 5 people were over there when she said it AND theres video proof. So, kinda hard to believe. I gave her a chance to tell me the whole truth without me getting angry. And she fucking lied to me. So not only did she lie about me, she lied to me, MIND YOU, I saw the video and everything before I talked to her about anything because I wanted to be sure before I risked my friendship for anything because Iβm a good fucking person. And this is why Iβm not friends with people of the messy sort. And then I cussed her out after practice. No hard feelings, I just had to say what I had to say, which included a lot of name-calling and cussing. And I have no regrets and no shame because she deserved that shit and I believe that with my whole fucking heart. I donβt deserve to be lied to even when I give you chance after chance after chance to tell me the truth and you still lie. What kind of friend are you?
So yeah. Iβm done being the fucking clown. Because this is what I looked like trying to be nice ----> π€‘
Anyways.
If you read my vent ty.
TL;DR: One of my friends lied about me liking someone and then lied to me about it and now Iβm actually fucking pissed.
