I wasn’t taught how to get a job
But I can remember dissecting a frog
I wasn’t taught how to pay tax
But I know loads about Shakespeare’s classics
I was never taught how to vote
They devoted that time to defining isotopes
I wasn’t taught how to look after my health
But mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
Never spent a lesson on current events
Instead I studied The Old American West
I was never taught what laws there are
I was never taught what laws there are
Let me repeat, I was not taught the laws for the country I live in
But I know how Henry the VIII killed his women
Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived
Glad that’s in my head instead of financial advice
I was shown the wavelengths of different hues of light
But I was never taught my human rights
Apparently, there’s 30, do you know them? I don’t
Why the hell can’t we both recite them by rote?
I know igneous, metamorphic and sedimentary rocks
Yet I don’t know squat about trading stocks
Or how money works at all, where does it come from?
How does the thing that motivates the world function?
Not taught how to budget and disburse my earnings
I was too busy there rehearsing cursive
Didn’t learn how much it costs to raise a kid or what an affidavit is
But I spent days on what the quadratic equation is
Negative b, plus or minus, the square root of b squared
Minus 4ac, over 2a
That’s insane, that’s absolutely insane
They made me learn that over basic first aid
Or how to recognise the most deadly mental disorders
Or diseases with preventable causes
Or how to buy a house with a mortgage
If I could afford it
'Cause abstract maths was deemed more important
Than advice that would literally save thousands of lives
But it’s cool, 'cause now I could tell you if the number
Of unnecessary deaths caused by that choice was prime
Never taught present day practical medicines
But I was told what the ancient hippocratic method is
“I’ve got a headache, the pain is ceaseless, what should I take?”
Umm, maybe try some leeches?
“Could we discuss domestic abuse and get the facts
Or how to help my depressed friend with their mental state?”
Ummm, no, but learn mental maths
Because “You won’t have a calculator with you, every day!”
They say it’s not the kids, the parents are the problem
Then if you taught the kids to parent, that’s the problem solved then
All this advice about using a condom
But none for when you actually have a kid, when you want one
I’m only fluent in this language, for serious?
The rest of the world speaks two, do you think I’m an idiot?
They chose the solar over the political system
So, like a typical citizen, now, I don’t know what I’m voting on
Which policies exist, or how to make them change
Mais oui, je parle un peu de française
So at 18, I was expected to elect a representative
For a system I had never, ever, ever been presented with
But I won’t take it
I’ll tell everyone my childhood was wasted
I’ll share it everywhere how I was “educated”
And insist these pointless things
Don’t stay in school
