little vent.
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this week fucking sucks. i got kicked off the soccer tea becaus ei have prior commitments. ive lost 2 friends. im tired of losing things i cant ever just be happy. its just like this excruciating pain. because im tired of being hurt and im tired of crying. and this shit is fucking me up mentally when i just got my shit together. i really hate the fact that i have to deal with this when i dont bother anyone! all i do is mind my fucking business and people always have to bother me. i just wanna be happy in peace but no. someones always gotta ruin it. or make shit about them. like tf? shits not about you. sometimes you dont have to turn the focus back to yourself but no one ever thinks about me. im just the therapist. shit and i dont get paid. like honestly, no one ever checks on me to see if im okay unless im begging and crying for help. like theres one person who actually cares. people dont seem to care. every person i talk to i talk to because i text first. like it feels so lonely even though im surrounded by people i just feel alone and i wanna cry all the time and i dont wanna get out of bed and i need help. i really do. but i dont wanna ask and get put in a mental hospital or worry my parents because they have enough shit going on and iād never forgive myself. but i dont know how to handle it anymore. i cant go through this shit on my own anymore. iāve been trying for 5 years. IM TURNING 15 THIS YEAR. Iāve been feeling like this since i was 9. the fact that a 9 year old dealt with depression by himself makes me want to cry. and i want to tell him itāll get better when he gets older but it doesnt! shit gets fucking worse as you get older and i dont know how to handle it. im starting to think its my moms fault but idek anymore. i say dont blame everyone else. but maybe i am the problem. maybe im the fucking problem. maybe if i remove myself from the equation people will be fine. maybe ill go run away and live in the woods or some shit by myself. because it seems like everything i do is a problem and im sorry. im sorry that im a bitch and im sorry that i hurt people and- i dont fucking know what to do anymore.
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the problem isnāt you, the problem is how people get themselves involved and trample into so much shit by trying to look cool by provoking shit w/you and are acting like tough jocks when in reality theyāre just idiots without a brain. donāt worry though, once you get rid of these people from your life and quit thinking about them, youāre going to be all okay.
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look finn, people finna hate and fuck them they donāt deserve you . and youāre beating yourself up over other people . dont let nobody and i mean NO fucking body take away your happiness because no one deserves that right . im here for you if you ever wanna talk and just know that you can be happy without other people . you got the real ones . me and jeff and thats all you need gang . we here for life <3
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although what can i say, to me this sounds easier said than done, but youāve got this
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@luv-omari that sentence would have much more effect if the n word was allowed here lmao .
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@merope-temp-account thanks mero
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@finn i feel you tbh because im in your situation as you like for me i got taken out of school because people were causing stuff that i wasnāt even inlovled in i try to be the best I can be but i canāt. Sometimes i wonder what will happen if i go missing or die and see how people really react to it and you donāt have to be sorry for everything in this world it really isnt your fault at allā¦ people canāt understand how you or anyone else feels because all they care is about themselves honestly i been there i lost alot of friends this year due to me being a dumbass and not paying attention to my self instead i was paying attention of if anyone liked me i changed alot for being a 13 year old. I been in a situation honestly where i started not to care anymore i started going to school in my pajamas because i didnāt care i stopped doing my hair, dressing nice, i stopped alot of things because i wasnāt paying attention to myself i started vaping when i was 11 because of my depression of my parents fighting arguing and getting bullied alotā¦ i never wanted to feel alone i wanted to be with someone that was actually who liked me for me i didnāt know what i was thinking in those times of being a 12 year old i quit soccer because i was depressed and because of my so called āfriendsā i had when i left school not even one talked to me i wasnāt important i got a lot of people talking shit behind my back because they didnāt like me at all dont feel sorry for anything honestly i feel you and i hope you will get threw this pain that your suffering
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Man, wtf was that one song called?
Idk but-āHAteRs GOnnA hATe hAtE hAteā
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@Calistaa IM JUST GONNA SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE IT OFF SHAKE IT OFFFF
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@Calistaa shake it off from taylor swift LMAO
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@finn ā¦Want memes in these trying times?