'Lil' vent
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honestly everything is so stressful and idk what to do with my life anymore. Im trying my best to be who everyone wants me to be. But i dont wanna do that anymore. I wanna be who i wanna be. But me being a people pleaser wont let myself do that. Having validation from other people is what keeps me going. And when iโm ACTUALLY being myself i get made fun of and bullied. So i decided to be what people want me to be. But its hard. Even when i am what people want me to be i still get put down and made fun of. Idk what to do anymore. Idk what people want from me. All that happens is me getting hurt no matter what i do. Its so hard and i just wanna cry for hours on end bc i just keep getting hurt again and again. Why does everyone wanna hurt me? All i do it try to be nice. I developed my issues BC of other people. Once i started getting bullied thats when i started showing signs of anger issues and depression. Before that i was the nicest person you could ever meet. And i hate that i turned into the little angry bitch i am nowโฆ
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@a-l1ttl3d3vilish To hear that being yourself gets you bullied, that really puts a wrongful perspective on validation. I mean, itโs awesome that many people like you when they specifically want you to be something, but contrary to that, โbeing yourselfโ is defined differently from anybody else. Itโs a unique aspect that everyone has, and that it shouldnโt be shamed upon - being yourself is itโs own validation, one that shouldnโt be judged from othersโ opinions on who you should be.
Being kind though sometimes does leave an open way of getting bullied. It really is a vulnerable spot that many can take advantage of, but donโt let that change yourself into different personalities that people may expect out of you, even though they, or you may feel okay about it.
Itโs hard not to get influenced by peopleโs judgement, I totally understand, but ultimately being your best self that you destine upon yourself is the best validation that you could ever have
โ ๐ถ If words fail, music speaks! ๐ถ
๐๐๐๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฅ! - Gumball -
@a-l1ttl3d3vilish Just donโt get caught up in vanity, and shazz is right.
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@a-l1ttl3d3vilish If friends accepted others without making fun of them, thatโd solve so much today. People absolutely do take advantage of kindness. People pleasers end up getting stepped on and itโs like you not only get stepped on but trapped under their feet. And Iโll tell you right now, thereโs no getting out of there alone. Validation from others is pretty much the baseline to self-value/confidence. You can receive that in so many things though. Itโs there if you look closely at life. If you have given your friends a chance to accept you and they still donโt, Iโll so much as say that you should find a new group of friends. Because if you want to be accepted and appreciated for who you are, you wonโt get that from people who actively make fun of who no matter what you do (pleasing them or not). If you want to feel confident/valued, find the people who will help support/build that. Thatโs my advice to you. Iโm curious what you think of the idea of finding new friends so let me know what your thoughts are on that.
Shazz_ Validation a two way street. Everyone actually needs validation from others. But souly depending on getting validation from others will absolutely put you in a mental rut. If you literally go your entire life surviving off only your own validation, letโs be real here, I donโt think anyone would be doing good mentally. Validation is usually seen as something someone gives you, but itโs interesting you bring up self validation. It feels different from validation from others though. And I think everyone should have a baseline of good friends who accept you so that you can build confidence. You canโt just pull confidence/self-validation out of nowhere.
Sapphire!!! Thatโs interesting you bring up โvanity.โ I donโt think wanting some validation from people is vanity at all actually. It can get to the point where you rely on validation without working on validating yourself, but wanting people to acknowledge you for just being you is something humans need to mentally be sane. Naturally, everyone wants to be accepted and liked. And wanting that isnโt basically some sin you struggle with like vanity. Itโs not vain to want friends who value you. Or vain to want to be valued at all.
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@Duchess I really do think that self validation is the most important out of any of the forms - I get your point, but yeah, you do rely on validation from your friends especially. It sets that baseline definitely.
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Shazz_ I agree. Self-validation is the best form of validation because itโs really hard to get anywhere in life when you devalue yourself. Even if everyone loves/acknowledges you, you have to actually allow that to build you up.
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idk why but i feel like shazz and duchess hate each other. Like they fight over who is the better and nicer one-
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@1zzylmao Haha, of course I donโt hate her :)
I really like it when we share our opinions on something that deserves the attention and care, not necessarily competing against who is โnicerโ, haha ^^ -
@Duchess Okay.
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@1zzylmao ???
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@1zzylmao Oh my goodness xD Noo, I donโt hate him. I like debating on stuff we talk about. It never feels heated.
