i think im mentally insane
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but im smart and hot so its okay
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maybe idk, i need to be more open with my therapist and
im absolutely crazily in love with a tv character number 1
number 2, im tired all the time and i dont feel like getting out of bed
im just depressed snd i wont talk about it and im scared because if i dont i could end up being suicidal again and thats scary -
@a7x-isbetter-thanu because ive tried to off myself twice so yeah
but i seriously dont feel like talking about it
i know it sounds bad but talking about it makes me feel like a fucking liar
im not strong like people think… im fucked up and depressed and im good at faking like im okay. i hide my pain with jokes, i joke about all my trauma, im just not a good person really and it sucks.
yeah. anyway.
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time to put my feelings away
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@a7x-isbetter-thanu Yknow, Im glad you are at least willing to share this with us. If you ask me, being able to acknowledge these things you do/feel, is huge enough.
im just depressed snd i wont talk about it and im scared because if i dont i could end up being suicidal again and thats scary
So are you saying you fear talking about it might make you feeling suicidal again?
(/forum/post/372607):
i know it sounds bad but talking about it makes me feel like a fucking liar
im not strong like people think… im fucked up and depressed and im good at faking like im okay. i hide my pain with jokes, i joke about all my trauma, im just not a good person really and it sucks.
Yknow, every strong person has a weakness, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of or hide. I know that’s easier said than done. Talking about it doesn’t mean you being strong isn’t also true. You simply getting out of bed after you said you didnt want to is being strong. And in fact, it takes the most strength to show weakness and be okay with it. We should all normalize feeling weaknesses because literally everyone has them. It’s scary talking about feelings. It absolutely is. But when you fully uncover the hidden feelings and you actually lay them and your traumatic stories out on the table, it’s a lot more progressive in your mental health growth than lightly talking about it and then throwing it all “back where it belongs.” Your therapist cant help you fully with what they don’t know fully. And hey, maybe it brings up feelings of suicide. That’s scary, but… Growth comes from pain, not comfortability. As strong of a person you are, I have faith you’ll find the strength to unveil some things with your therapist.
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@Duchess said in i think im mentally insane:
So are you saying you fear talking about it might make you feeling suicidal again?
no, not talking about it probably will
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@a7x-isbetter-thanu Oh, okay. Are you talking about it?
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@Duchess not really, i just use metal music and playing guitar to release those feelings
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@a7x-isbetter-thanu is fear holding you back from talking about it? Or something else
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@Duchess i mean i just really dont enjoy talking about my feelings
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@a7x-isbetter-thanu You can actually bring that up to your therapist. If you haven’t already.
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It’s okay to be crazy. It’s okay not to want to talk, I get that. But maybe journaling and burning your negative thoughts will help (with adult supervision obviously).
