im trying less and less to be my mother's daughter

[lebanese]

she’s tired. Tired of me, tired of my dog, and tired of my chickens.

i’m a bother. I know i am. I’m tired of her constant snaps because i need something. I’m sick right now and i’m worrying about being too lazy because she’s exhausted.

i’m forcing myselff to stop being a child. To step up and deal with myself.
my mother says i’m the best thing that’s happened to her and yet… all i feel is that i’m a burden. i’ve even told my father about it.

I want to run away. Kill myself. Find another family that loves me.