I try to hide but it's hard y'know..? TW: sexual, vent
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So, I’m like… a very inappropriate person in general. I’m immature, I talk about the funni sex, and I’m very sexual about my appearance and open about my kinks. I’m a very bold careless person. My hormones have been imbalanced ever since I was a little child, and I’ve always felt the need to sexualize myself and search for romance. Ive never been okay. I’ve found out some things that just make this hypersexualization worse. However, it sucks and hurts me a lot to be called gross, degenerate, disgusting, immature… All that good stuff. Though I play it off as if I don’t care to not let my sensitivity show through, cause I hate showing that I’m sensitive and like to allow the conversation to just go on. I’ve been taught not to cry… not to let my feelings show… not to speak. It sucks that I cannot control my being or the fact I have no filter. People are always like “I wish I was more bold, and more out there, and didn’t care what people thought.” When they look at me. But it still hurts. And I do care what people think sometimes. I wish I was different. Cause I hate the way I act. I hate it. I wish I could turn myself off. Stop talking. Stop being me. It sucks.
I try to hide it but it’s hard y’know…?
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@Vampire-Prince-Cyx im werider then you
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602._.Dean you barely even know me
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@Vampire-Prince-Cyx prove it
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@Vampire-Prince-Cyx i can get to know u
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@Vampire-Prince-Cyx Who are these ‘people’ that call you gross, degenerate, disgusting and immature? Does your family pertain to that supposed image of you? Just your friends in general?
I’d imagine someone would offer to understand that sexualization could potentially be something to try to hide, especially if it’s been caused by your openness you mentioned.
◞ 🎶 If words fail, music speaks! 🎶
𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥! - Gumball -
@Vampire-Prince-Cyx We are literally on the same level bro except uh… I… uhh… I forgor
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Shazz_ people in general tend to call me those names. Only my girlfriend doesn’t look at me weird and understands me.
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dad, i luv it, i wish i was more like you instead <3
cos
i luv you -
@Calistaa I luv u too. Thank you son
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@Vampire-Prince-Cyx It definitely would take some self-discipline to stop those things and be more mature. I don’t really like saying people should change, but if you’d like to change how you act and just be more mature, I support that choice. Personally, I don’t really like sexual jokes and whatnot, and it really is pretty bad that people normalize it in regular conversation. You can be bold and mature, trust me. There’s a balance. It takes setting self-boundaries and being aware of how your acting.
