Hey Guys, Heres what I'm feeling! - Shinji.

[Ayari]

rei ayanami thats how i feel… but i learned how to control my depression. i realized that when im happy and i spent time with people i love and care about, i wouldnt feel upset. its only when i feel lonely or something bad happened is when i truly get sad and thoughts overcome u. i learned the hard way of shutting out thoughts. it might seem hard but its like battling urself. say for instance u say, i feel like shit. say to combat that, “i feel great today.” if u feel like ur not loved, go see someone who loves u and who spends time with u. say ur positive affirmations everyday too. they dont have 20 pages, just say something simple! and if u think ur life isnt the way u want to be, start making changes. if u dont like this family member or this friend, cut them off. i had to cut out my ex bf of 4 years bc he was consuming me with hate, anger, and sadness. sometime therapy doesnt help because u feel like thats someone who hasnt been through what u have been through and sometimes thats not always the case. i found it hard to open up to my therapist so my mother dropped her. and if u dont feel like talking to people, grab a journal and express ur feelings in there. its also ok to cry. but dont sit in that puddle of tears. its just like riding a bicycle. u learn how to pedal and ur gonna fall off. dont sit there crying silly, get back up! try those tears and hop back on that bicycle and keep pushing. life is only what u make it and we are slowly dying every second. if u died right now, what would people say about u at ur funeral? “shes a rude person” “he told me to die” or “she helped me feel wanted” “i fell in love with him because he is an amazing person” those ouchies might hurt now but its just like a scab on ur body. they heal and then u dont feel it anymore. thats literally life for u. u have to learn to dodge and take some bullets but continue on. dont let that consume u and affect ur daily life. if u do, it only gets worse and thats why people off themselves due to things that hurt too bad that they couldnt let go. i thought about killing myself because my now ex bf died in front of me one night several years ago. i was 13-14. i couldnt get over it. i sat there and let it consume me. i tried killing myself many times because of it. but now look at me! im still alive. ill be 18 in 6 months. life is supposed to get hard. if it didnt, then no one would take it seriously and then “lifes just a game” would really be real. this isnt GTA. u have one life. u cant respawn like minecraft. u gotta learn to deal with things and put it in ur backpack and continue on. its easier said then done. but its up to do to change ur life. no one can do it for u. and if anyone hasnt said they love u today… well i love u and ur gonna be ok. life sucks. u just gotta pick urself up.

[rei]

🪐𝙰𝚢𝚊𝚛𝚒💫 the fact i was shitposting as my favorite anime character

[Ayari]

rei ayanami bruhhhhh :/ the fact that i took my time typing that shit tho oh well ig it still applies anyways :/

[A Former User]

rei ayanami Warning, this is long

It stings more when you can’t get a lot of help with depression because people just don’t get it. And they say and do things that just make you feel worse. Therapy might be a good thing if you ask me, but I’m not sure how your family views that. Some parents might see it as a bandaid to fix you. I don’t know your opinion on going to therapy either but you seem against it, which I get that. I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. And not being able to get out of it because of life circumstances can feel like cuffs you don’t have the keys to yet. I hate to hear when kids are stuck in a depressing situation that they physically can’t get out of.

My advice is:
If you can’t fix it, learn from it. I dont like the “fix your mindset, fix your life” bull you hear from inspirational quotes or talks. That’s honestly a gaslight if you as me. I’ve learned that talking about your life, and learning about how to actually deal with it is how you can at the very least live with difficulties in life that you can’t change. So many people live in homes with trashy situations they can literally do nothing about. And trust me, it’s hard to not ruminate about how you can’t change anything to get out of depression. But if you can’t change your life physically, you can at least start learning about it and create a roadmap for yourself to get out of the darkness in your mind.

Life kind of sucks
And I’ll never tell you that you can fix it. Because you can’t fix it. Life will literally always suck, even if it seems like it’s not sucking for a moment, it’ll suck later on and you’ll be like “Why did I ever think life was good?” That’s just it! Life isn’t going to be good forever! But should you ruminate how much you wish things were better? Well, you can and you have the right to, but when you’re done feeling sad and all that good stuff, there’s a time when you should remember this: Each time life sucks, you learn some wisdom. And that’s when you get back up and you learn more. Life sucked when you told someone something private and they betrayed your trust. But guess what? You learned to never confide in them, and be more cautious about who you confide it. It sucks that you thought you had someone, but it’s not your fault. Just like it’s not your fault your parents dismiss you. I find if the same people keep dismissing you, stop trying to get something out of them. It won’t be the 6th time you tell your parents how you feel that it clicks and they say, “I see your pain and I want to support you in the best way possible.” It won’t. You got to move on and look for different sources of help and consolation if your current sources just hurt you.

I dont know much about your parents, but I know how not being able to trust them hurts you. But I’d like to remind you that mppc has many dm doors open if you ever need someone. Or if you’d like to make a public post, that’s cool too. I love that people post about how they feel.

[rei]

@Duchess this is a shitpost still

[A Former User]

rei ayanami uh. What?

[rei]

[Shazz_]

@Duchess rei ayanami I was going to type something here earlier too but I realized it wasn’t a legitimate vent, oop.
Who is this Shinji guy, by the way?

[rei]

Shazz_

[Shazz_]

rei ayanami An anime character?

[rei]

Shazz_ uh huh

[A Former User]

Shazz_ You’re joking right now. Okay, I’m out.

[JDP_Random]

This whole post is getting sad fr, its kinda funny

[A Former User]

lol