need advice
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i have a friend whos dating this guy whos extremely toxic right, like heās really rude, he doesnāt care about her feelings, kinda a narc. like sheāll talk about her stress and he said her tripping over her words was annoying and shit. it pissed me off cause what the actual fuck bro. and we were all on a call, and she told him she loved him and he said ānice, i love me too.ā like i get not wanting the pda but he couldāve said āawwā or something. and she told him it pissed her the fuck off and he just said āitās my choice, you canāt force me to say it, you already know i do so why do i have to say it?ā. but alas, she doesnāt want to leave him because he says nice things every now and again, he cried over the thought of losing her a couple weeks back and now she thinks its meant to be and their soulmates. he calls her petnames and stuff she likes and shes scared to be alone because of trauma shes had in the past with relationships and the way her family treats her. and hes taking advantage of that. how do i convince her to leave him?
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@finneass okay, so Iād say- a paragraph like uh- idk something like this.
You: He hurts you, heās damaging you, heās lovebombing and breaking you. Heās abusing his power over you, and youāre better than that, you are amazing and he is trying to use your pain for his gain. You are loved by so many other people who will treat you better, this man I know you enjoy his nice words every now and then, but itās not worth it. You donāt wanna end up in a situation where youre contemplating your own life because of what heās doing to you, do you?? You cannot be stuck in this situation
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@Cyx honestly, I can understand and relate so much, you just gotta be understanding with her, and really try to break it to her how absolutely fucking revolting this man is. Like goddam he sounds like a disgusting pig.
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@Cyx and give her an example like āwhat would you do if I was in this situation? Youād do the same right? Youād help me and try to get me out safely right? You know Iām here for you the same like youāre here for me.ā
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I hope this helps ā„ļøā„ļø
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@Cyx it did <333
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@finneass itās just cause I know a friend like that, and she really needs to understand that her partner is horrible for her. I love her truly, but Iām working on getting her out. And itās working, but slowly and slowly, and yāknow what you just gotta show that same love.
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@Cyx goddamn, some people just suck, but i get it, its hard, iāve been there before.
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@finneass Itās fascinating how toxic a relationship can be yet it still goes on because of the small feel-good moments he gives. No compliment or pet name can fix someone who doesnāt care about your feelings. This girl, like Cyx said, definitely seems to be getting lovebombed. Classic of a narcissistic (assuming you mean narcissist, not a nartocic substance user). I would ask her to start thinking of how she feels about herself with him, and how much he shows he truly cares about her. Trying to point out red flags she needs to consider in the relationship also is good, which Iām sure you probably are doing anyways.
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@finneass
I would go to your friend point out all the good and bad he has done to her. Judging from your pov - nothing good is happening.
After you point out all the good and bad - point out what might happen if thier relationship continues.
If she has had truama in the past - this is not good for her mental healthā¦
stress is not good for her mental health
she needs to leave himā¦ not all fast because he mad get mad and do something to her but she needs to cut off contact for awhile then if things continue - just leave him
Iām almost 100% sure heās going to keep doing the same SHIT over and over again.
