An apology for my recent behaviors
-
This is my apology for everything. Within this I ask you take a second and read it and if you can listen to the song attached. With that. Here goes nothing.
Regarding my recent behaviors. I feel like a lot of it is inexcusable. I did some things that thinking back on it I maybe took it to far. I was told some things about myself that mad me overthink, get irritated, and generally made me mad. I won’t say who said what or what was said but what was said really got to me. It made me overthink and make me wonder stuff like would I really be better off dead? Why should I care what I say? It changes nothing. And stuff like that. As many of you know I deal with mental health issues. I was hospitalized for them and I’m on meds to help. Unfortunately I don’t really think they’re doing much for me anymore but that’s beside the point. I’m not trying to excuse my actions and I’m not trying to make myself look better for what I did. I apologized to the people I felt needed an apology and the ones who I feel didn’t deserve one or need one didn’t get one. My point is I have anger issues. I get really depressed and when i get depressed I get mad. It’s definitely something that can affect not only me but the people around me. I’ve said some legitimately hurtful things to people just because I’m pissed off. Now whether or not I feel like they deserve it is not the point. My point here is that if I said some mean stuff I am sorry. and if I’ve said something that upset you then please let me know. I’ll individually write you a personal apology. This is the only thing I feel can genuinely do to either redeem myself and maybe help whoever understand why I’m the way I am. I’ve since a young age hated being held responsible. Whether I fucked up or not. I never feel like I can hold myself accountable. I tend to blame others for my own actions. Something I’m still currently struggling not to do. The day I was banned I was mad. I managed to make a some 50+ post in the banned forum that’s now been deleted where basically I couldn’t hold myself accountable. I apologized the day after with a VERY long post there. I understand that I made mistakes. A lot of them in fact. I’ve acted rash and handled things improperly. I act off of what feels right in the moment. I post or write shit I wouldn’t if I was thinking about how it’d affect others. Regardless I can’t really take that back. I said shit and that’s about it. At the same time though I wouldn’t say something behind someone’s back without actually being able to say it to their face. Especially when I’m mad. I mostly lose my filter and just find any attempt I can do to go off on someone. Regardless of that I already said I’d write anyone a written apology.
In the end I made mistakes. Mistakes in not proud of. In no relationship have I been perfect. I know damn well that I’m not. There have been a couple allegations around me and I’d like to address those here to. I am not what was said. The ones I know have been said at the very least. I would never put someone through a trauma I went through. And even traumas I’ve never been through. I don’t want my kids if I have them or anyone for that matter to suffer like I did. In terms I’m not the person in the rumors I know about. That’s all I have to really say about them publicly. In the end though. I’m sorry. The stuff I’ve done just to “get back at someone” or whatever bullshit is my own fault for taking certain stuff to far.
And I want to make this clear. I am doing this of my own fruition. Nobody is making me do this. I just feel like I owed y’all a apology for my mistakes
-
@Thetruepath
-
@Thetruepath I forgive you (I have no clue what you did)
-
Creek hooray 🎉
-
coffee man approves of this
-
This post is deleted!
