(Vent) If I act negative around yall, this is why:

Nightmare

Before I say anything, please do not:

Don't respond like: 'Ohh, it isn't that baaad... I've been through worse-' or 'Don't worry... It'll get betterrr...' (etc.). It's not going to improve what I'm about to say.
Don't try to fucking comfort me. You'll only make things worse, no matter how moral you are
If you don't know me, click off of this.
I know it's so fucking long bare with me, I have a lot to say.

Anyway...

Last night, my parents left to go to the store.

I was left home alone with my siblings, as usual.

I was busy talking to Misty on Magma *(A multiplayer drawing site) the whole time.

I was minding my business with her, not caring about what my siblings were doing, because I'm not supposed to worry about them.

I was happily roleplaying with Misty as my OC *(Fever Dream, my main OC), and suddenly I heard my mom screaming at the top of her lungs in the most pissed tone ever.

I quickly turned off my music and listened.

..My brother and sister were snooping around my parent's closet, where all the Christmas presents are stored.

My brother messed up a lot of baseball cards my dad collected, and beat his ass for it.

My sister, of course, didn't get yelled at for anything. *(Spoiled BRAT)

I got really anxious about the whole yelling, both Mom and Dad yelling at the top of their lungs.
*(The main reason is that they always find a reason to yell at me, even if I did nothing. They still yell at me for things that I have already been punished for.)

I begged Misty for comfort *(And I got some uwu), and started calming down.

And right as I was finally 'okay'

My mom started yelling at me, saying

"GET OFF THAT FUCKING COMPUTER"

And so, I started typing as fast as I could to Misty before I left-

And then she yelled

"WHEN WE AREN'T HERE, YOU AREN'T ALLOWED ON THAT DEVICE"
"IF YOU CAN'T PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY (Siblings) ARE DOING, YOU CAN'T BE ON"
"YOU ARE TO BE RESPONSIBLE WHEN WE ARE GONE"
*(Even though I'M NOT A L L O W E D TO 'BE THE PARENT' or 'BE R E S P O N S I B L E', or I get yelled at)

And I was told again to 'get the fuck off'

And I asked why

And my dad yelled

"I'M GOING TO SLAP YOU ACROSS THE FACE FOR THAT SHIT. THE FUCKING DISRESPECT YOU GIVE YOU LITTLE BITCH"

And I didn't have time to say bye to Misty-

So I had a mental breakdown trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do, and what I did wrong

When I was told to go eat I was still crying, and my mom asked me

"The fuck are you crying for"

And I said

"I don't like getting yelled at-"

And she told me

"Well, sucks to suck."

And that clearly upset me.

A bit later when I was helping take care of my Gecko's hurt leg I got really lightheaded and sick, I told my mom to hurry up so I can sit down.

When I did, my vision got really blurry. My ears began to ring like crazy, and I felt like I was going to pass out and die

I ran to the bathroom, thinking I was going to get sick, but nothing happened

The next day (today)

I was in a good mood this morning, thinking it was going to be a good day.

Boy, was I wrong.

I was casually doing my schoolwork and talking to Misty, as usual.

My friend Adrian got a s/o the other day, and they have been cuddling and kissing a lot. Along with my fried Lux and Zach (Both of them are together), and that made me upset. My friend Tori is online dating, but at least her s/o is still in the same state. I kept getting reminded on how Misty is on the other side of the fucking country, and it really hurt. I tried to talk to my friends about how I felt really uncomfortable when they cuddled and kissed a lot and did weird things.

But of course, nobody listens to Nightmare.

I was upset all day because Zach and Adrian kept reminding me of how I was 'bitchless' and how Misty was in a different state.

I know they were just messing around, but it still hurt.

*(As I'm typing this, I'm sobbing my eyesockets out)

I had a very serious talk with Misty about how I can't handle being in an online relationship because I feel alone and I can't do anything besides text.

I know I'm never going to meet Misty IRL,

I'm getting more impatient as the days go by,

And at this point, I feel like I'm suffering.

I don't want to break up with Misty, no

I just want to see her.

The other day, while I was in Walmart with my mom,

I had enough confidence to finally ask to spend the Christmas Break with Misty.

She started talking about how long I was staying, as she was considering it.

Then my mom said

'I don't even know where Misty lives.'

(me) 'Colorado.'

'Hell no.'

And after that, I had an [internal] mental breakdown in the frozen chicken isle in Walmart

Anyway, I don't know what to do with my life anymore.

As soon as I feel like everything is okay and happy, it all falls apart and I'm back to where I started when I was 10.

Again, don't try to fucking comfort me or any shit like that I'll ignore it and delete it if I can.

Have a good day I don't care if you upvote this or downvote it all I want is for you guys to know what the hell is going on right now and why I may appear sad.

<3

Misty Marie Gardner

Frozen chicken isle? You mean cold cock isle?

Inkfish 72

Ah.

Inkfish 72

By curiosity, how long did it take you to write that

@InkyNightmares said in (Vent) If I act negative around yall, this is why::

they always find a reason to yell at me, even if I did nothing.

same with me, like i cant be the "parent" cuz im the youngest and everyone is always like "oh you must be the favorite child" HELL NO!!! Everyone ik irl is always like "bro its like 100 degrees and u wearing a long sleeve and pants, wear something else!" I cant i have bruises all over my body and what if someone asks about them? i aint gonna tell them the truth and say "oh my mom and brother smacks me"!! im consistantly being told "get off the computer/phone, your too skinny, your too weak, stop eating, your ugly, stop living, no one cares about you, when will you just move out!" like online people dont hurt me as much as irl, its my safe place but NO i dont get to be in my safe place.

Nightmare

@Inkfell-72 10-20 minutes

Inkfish 72

@InkyNightmares fun.

Nightmare

@Misty coJOCJojcOJCOCJ

rip

Misty Marie Gardner

@InkyNightmares COCEOKOCKLDCOKDOSCLODKCOKOLSCOKC

scarlet lol

damn..

honestly tthats fucked up. super fucked up.

it hurts to see how kids are being treated now...

Nightmare

@scarlet-lol it's not normal?

Nightmare

@Misty COCJCOOSKOSKCOSKCOKOCSkcoskCOKOKCOskCOJSOJEODJJblFNkrnlgke jfknelrnflrn

finn aka shaggy

Your mom sucks, dang.

Nightmare

@FinnyWinny My dad is worse. At least I get along with my mom sometimes.

My dad I feel angry around every day.

I'm actually happy to see my mom

finn aka shaggy

@InkyNightmares well theyre both sucky, hope they see the error of their ways

Calistaa

Reminds me of the kind of fuckin' white family stereotypes you see in movies. White families ain't all that nice lmao-

Not trying to make a joke out of this.

Nightmare, I'm sorry for the way you get treated at home. It isn't right. I really don't know what else to say. Have a good weekend.

Nightmare

@it-s-just-sen i like borttttttt

Nightmare

@FinnyWinny They probably won't. But I'll avoid turning into them if I ever become a parent.

finn aka shaggy

@InkyNightmares good, we need no parents like tha