I honestly donโt care. Iโm going to use names.
Me and Sophia (Aspen) started dating back in late 6th grade, early 7th grade. I had gotten out of a bad relationship previously, and things happened, and she had told me she liked me a little bit after. I told her that I had felt the same. Unfortunately, I was an extremely closeted kid, who was terrified to tell my parents I had a girlfriend. (They eventually found out.) Despite me being so closeted and not able to say โI love youโ or send certain colored hearts over text because at the time my mom went through my phone and it would get figured out, we stayed together. I eventually got Discord, got some friends and some people from here (Zeri/Jinx, Harper, and CatBlepBoi), and we would just talk. I had a mini-music group, (I called it my Choir Hell Server) and I introduced Sophia as my gf to them, and my mom found out. She wasnโt mad, but she was disappointed at the fact I didnโt tell her. I tried to explain that I wasnโt ready to tell her. She never brought it up again. AlthoughโฆLate 8th gradeโฆShe was going through an Aro-Ace phase, and she told me that romantically loving people wasnโt something she wanted to do/wasnโt interested in at that time. I told her I understood. We were still friends. We still talked to each other daily. She ended up getting another partner (Ace-NB), and it hurt. It was so soonโฆ
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I had another partner later, and we lasted until November 16, 10:31 P.M. I honestly wasnโt that upset about that one. I had a feeling it would start to not work out. It was like anโฆearly birthday present. I know thatโs a terrible thing to say, but it justโฆwasnโt the same as what I was hoping for in a relationship.
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Fast-forward to Valentineโs Day, 2024. Luke (BF/Partner-He/They-Trans) asks me to be their Valentineโs, and we start dating. Iโm happy with them, but every once in a whileโฆI just look at her and think โI wonder where we could have been if I hadnโt messed up so much. If she was still mine, and I hers.โ Sheโs so pretty. Sheโs what I wish I could be. Sheโs perfect. She can make friends so easily, and sheโs just such a kind caring soul. Gods, I miss her. It hurts to see her daily sometimes.
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Songs I associate with her are I Hear A Symphony by Cody Fry and A Shitty Gay Song About You by Ezra Williams
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TL;DR: I miss my ex-gf, and it wasnโt really my fault, but it feels like it. :P