Finn, Jesus will provide sometimes you have to go through things to get to a point where God is your only option. God never abandoned you, Although it may seem like but it you just are going through a trial right now. James 1;2-4 says Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. So I can assure you that God didn’t abandon you He is testing your faith. I pray this encourages you to keep going and I’m not on here a lot so hit me up on discord if you need prayer or anything God bless you sista. (Jraco?#4178)