@maybenot-finneas Warning, this is long.
I had an mpp friend.
I wouldn’t call it a relationship breakup, but I had a crazy toxic friend-breakup. I thought him and I were in sync. We talked all day, every day, every night. But. I only figured out after we lost contact that he was a narcissist. Which in case you dont know, they are very hard people to get rid of. He isolated me from creating other online friendships and when I did make friends, he manipulated me into betraying them. He made me think they were the bad guys and I could only trust him. This went on for two years. It was a pretty scary situation because he had access to my google photos (which was my fault) and used it to blackmail me to stay in our friendship. It was the most toxic, yet hardest friendship to get rid of. I spent so long in what felt like an isolated limbo because we talked in a private invisible room and he got mad if I didn’t join. He guilted/called me names for having talked to people besides him. He accused me of liking anyone I spoke to. This was wilst him being on other tabs flirting with girls every night we spoke. I spent a lot of time secretly putting together timelines when he was talking to other people and they were all while him and I spoke. They told me he asked for nudes, and flirted – even with my own friends he made me betray. I knew he was doing this but couldn’t confront him because he’d gaslight me so badly, I belived him and got even more deep in his abuse. He made fun of everyone. Even me. When I didn’t do what he wanted, he called me every name in the book. “Braindead” and “Bipolar” hurt the most. I confided in him with all of my secrets because he convinced me that he was the only one who would “put up” with me venting. He said no one would ever love me but him because I was “too broken.” One day, I tried to get away from him because I had an entire room of people on my side (after a long time of trying to regain my friendships in secret), he created public rooms exposing me, and kept them up all night untill I’d cave and apologize. I was weak and didn’t think I could ever be free from this online abuser. I had enough and quit mpp for a month. I should have done that a long time ago, but since I had no one else who knew about my home life, I thought he was the only one I could talk to. After all. I really did believe no one would put up with me but him. In that month long break, I had actually convinced myself he was right about me and that I really was bipolar. Upon coming back to mpp, I told him he was right and I needed help dealing with my “bipolar.” He said he knew he was right, and I got sucked into another era of talking to him again. Believe it or not, the tail-end of our friendship, I met Lav (went by JakeFromStatefarm at the time) and he helped me along with other great friends to overcome this narcissist’s stronghold. It had been the point where I finally fully told him off and I thought it was the end. It wasn’t. It took me a long time to fully stop talking to him. It was on and off. But I made sure to not get too deep. Although, talking to him at all was a huge risk. He kind of faded away for a bit, and Tree and I had started talking more. I told Tree about this terrible guy and then it happened to be that the day I cold-turkey let him go, Tree told me he liked me lol. Tree didn’t even know till I told him a while later. It was like a completely new beginning of my life that day.
I still think about this guy at times. Im not sure I ever did fully heal. But despite that, I rose up, began helping others with toxic friends and relationships, made many friends who I call family, and found love.
