“Reminds me of my first tour of a nuclear reactor I trained in at college. We walked on the bridge over the reactor, I looked down, and then immediately crouched and hooked my arms under the railing.”
“The tour guide chuckled and asked, if I was scared I would fall in.”
“I said yes.”
“like a liar.”
“Because in that blue glow of the nuclear reactor, I saw beauty like none have ever seen.”
“I yearned for the blue glow. The longing was a screeching madness, wailing as it clawed at the walls of my mind. Commanding me to leap over the railing, and bask the radiance of the sapphire waters.”
"I was certain that if I hadn’t crouched down, hadn’t abandoned the smiling face of God, my body would have pitched me over the railing. "
“Before my mind could choose.”
“Months later, I had noticed several posters with closeup pictures of the reactor. I awkwardly asked the director of the training program if they sent in divers to take pictures of it.”
“He gave me a knowing look and said I’d die by the time I got halfway to the reactor.”
“I thanked him and scurried away.”
“The light still calls to me. It was a human equivalent of a bug zapper.”
