Disability and Disorders Awareness

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  • My Thesis about the Zeal and Ren situation

    Reposted from BDNS.


    as everyone probably knows, Ren/NoLongerNull, former composer of Pressure, accused Zeal, the project lead of Pressure, of sexual assault and manipulation recently. I wanted to make a sequence of events regarding this. I would like to make it clear that I do not support Zeal and you should go side with Ren, but if new updates arise, I will make a response to it.

    Zeal’s response just came out today so I’ll be looking to it.

    Of course, TW for mentions of Sexual Assault and Self-death. Comfort censor due to text flood.

    As a reminder, Zeal:

    • “Pretended to be his mother”
    • Made the infamous response video (talking about Work at a Pizza Place + “sorry I wasn’t good at sex”) which we’ll look further into
    • Apparently attempted to end his life
      Keep in mind that Ren specifically said this: “Zeal. I beg of you, please, do not harm yourself or others around you because of this document. Don’t self-harm. Don’t kill yourself. It will not make things better for you, or for those who love you, if you even care. And do not yell at, or harm, anyone else around you (from the team, or your friends/family).”
    • Played Roblox while in the hospital; it is common that if you’re in the hospital because of this psych, the internet may be taken away from you or you just get restrictive access. Social Media is usually a leading cause to attempts.
    • Is diagnosed with Autism, which is important for what I’m about to go over due to his lack of social cues
    • Sent cute animals cuddling to other women so no special treatment was given.

    Ren:

    • Is diagnosed with BPD, and so explains this section:
      6c7866a8-866a-4274-96f3-d350842c472c-image.png
    • Apparently enjoyed the interactions she had with Zeal (with DM proof of it) though she retracted consent after
      Keep in mind that you CAN retract consent if you felt that someone may have been pushy the entire time, or that they manipulated you and you found out. You’re valid.

    Timeline:

    1. Ren used to work with Zeal before she ultimately stepped down. Zeal and Ren did have minor arguments like leaking unofficial/confidential music Ren made before RDC.
    2. Ren and Zeal got along privately. Zeal was prideful of his figure, and Ren was “happy” about it. Zeal wanted to carry Ren around from his pride because Ren is shorter than him.
      Virtual and physical consent is different. Zeal probably thought both.
    3. To RDC, Zeal shared what hotel he was in (Mariott) to Ren, which was somehow a plan even though Ren originally asked where Zeal was. When they both met, Zeal carried her around. Ren did not like it but preferred not to show it because she was depending on Zeal; this could be that Zeal was Ren’s “favorite person.”
    4. Zeal and Ren had intercourse, except Zeal apparently made sure Ren was taken care of. Ren explicitly stated that she liked the interaction several times on their DMs, however Zeal did not pick up the fact Ren genuinely depended on him. This might mean Ren had hypersexual tendencies.
    5. Ren got concealer from a friend after Zeal gave her hickeys unintentionally, however Ren was rubbing it off and showing off the hickeys she got from Zeal, which led to multiple people knowing, what Zeal didn’t want. Zeal confronted Ren about it when Ren was at the theater and Zeal was heading back to his dorm, explaining that Ren broke his trust. Ren would then try to find the person who told others, exclaiming a threat to harm them.
    6. Ren attempted soon after Zeal turned off his phone, and when Zeal learned about it once he was home, he was horrified. He still had feelings for her and he wanted to help her out still. This can be ignorance, however a breach of privacy is still a bad thing to do. I do not blame Zeal for Ren’s attempt.
      Note that this screenshot in particular is still weird.
      c59884b4-7208-486b-b876-71bd8a539c0d-image.png
    7. Due to the RDC delaying the Operation: Heartburn update, Zeal was more busier, not responding to Ren frequently and trying to meet up the short deadline. Zeal forgot her real name, usually referring her as Ren. This is not meant to be a bad thing.
    8. Zeal wanted to reject Ren because of everything that happened, because he felt entrapped. Zeal apparently never saw Ren as “a body to use” but as someone to be taken care of, but Zeal didn’t want long-distance relationships. Ren was pushing it, but Zeal kept his ground as FWB only.
    9. During “The Block,” an event Ren attended, Zeal learned that Ren harassed people through DMs and in-person and gloated about tearing apart a sticker. Ren also leaked music early. This led Zeal to lose further interest in Ren, as initially, Zeal didn’t want to date due to their locations. Zeal was content with Ren removing her private account from his, and since she cut his Twitter off, Zeal didn’t know about the suspension.
    10. Zeal began to act cold to Ren as a plan of her leaving Zeal for good. Zeal apparently never claimed that Ren assaulted him at all. Ren was banned from RDC due to the self-death scare, and was excommunicated from her team due to her actions. Zeal did look after her financially, and Zeal does not know why Ren retracted her consent.
      also small note but you can’t be saying “Consent given cannot be retracted 6 months later.” in a response to you apparently sexually assaulting somebody; it’s insensitive and really dumb

    Summary: Zeal and Ren worked until Ren quit, they were still friends moving into FWB, Ren was romantically pursuing Zeal and Zeal denied it, Ren attempted and Zeal felt bad, but then Ren did fucked up shit which made Zeal want to distance himself from her.

    Of course, support Ren and boycott the game plus its merch. Do not say anything about the game or call it “drama” as this is a serious situation that has harmed several people. Aside from this, we can only hope Zeal is doing okay. Nobody should die from this, but it should be a time to learn and change.
    PS. Ren prefers to be called a survivor, not a victim.

    posted in Blog
  • Above the Neck -- Sofia Isella

    Everything above the neck
    Everything but the imitation of youth must be given up at the desk
    Everything but the look that sells
    You’re 12 looking 20, or you’re 20 looking 12
    And you’re tight, and you’re baby, and you’re sexy about it
    And you’re subtle and doe-eyed in a toddler’s outfit
    And her eyes are crossed and big and bright and bug
    And she withers around like a salty slug
    There’s a beautiful balance to realise and reach
    When the women act like both a child and a sex beast
    Men are titillated by that delicate line
    Between sex song and nursery rhyme
    Over time, you’ll not remember normalcy
    Because normalcy is what you see, repeatedly
    So there will be nothing to miss
    It must be so relieving for you to hear this
    Mmm
    If I mimic sex like some kind of clothed recreation
    Slightly alter your emotional situation
    If I transform into masturbation motivation
    Something that’s more “open to interpretation”
    All of a sudden, your desire to understand
    Head popped out of your ass, you’re a wide-eyed kitten, man
    Your jaw will unhinge like a trap door open wide
    And in my words will pour like a fucking slip and slide
    'Cause sex is everywhere
    It’s everything you see
    It’s baked into the air, breathe, baby, breathe
    Sex is everywhere
    And if it’s not, then somebody will put it there
    They’ll put it there
    (They’ll put it there, and they’ll put it there)
    Your hands are down your pants, you’re settled in for the night
    It’s time to watch 18-year-olds on a private browser site
    But 18 years isn’t short enough for you
    They have pigtails and Hello Kitty shorts on to undo
    They’ve learned that the closer you look like to a kid
    The more money you get from a forty-two-year-old piece of shit
    So on screen, they’ll touch a dick, and act so confused
    Because cluelessness is easier to get off to
    There’s no button to push for third base
    I’m not trying to seduce you, fuckface
    I’ll be out in your lawn covered in snot
    I get away with so much shit cause you think I’m hot
    Oh, you’ll praise the virgin, self-absorbed
    You think your penis is very important
    But if something’s dirty after you touch it
    The problem is your hand, dipshit
    Cut it off
    Sex is everywhere
    It’s everything you see; it’s baked into the air
    Breathe, baby, breathe it
    Sex is everywhere
    And if it’s not, then somebody will put it there
    They’ll put it there
    They’ll put it there
    They’ll put it there
    They’ll put it there
    Sex everywhere
    It’s everywhere
    It’s everywhere
    It’s everywhere
    Oh, the women are fighting crime
    Showing tits and ass at the same time
    They’re multitaskers, we draw the lines
    Anything’s true if it rhymes
    The key in the hole, the mighty sword
    Praise the man slut, praise the lord
    They’d fuck a pie, a dead body
    But you live to please, you live to please

    posted in Song Lyrics
  • RE: I'm so fucking disgusted.

    Duncan oh absolutely, I actually feel so bad for Gachapon’s VA for that reason. And it’s so unfortunate because I loved her character she was so cutie :(

    posted in Boredom
  • RE: I'm so fucking disgusted.

    ayin Oh don’t worry me and my friends were like “oH iM sOrRy I wAsN’T iNtImAtE eNoUgH wItH yOU-” and like made fun of a bunch of other shit he said, because he genuinely didn’t make the right point in the video–like he apologized, but for the wrong reasons. So like…ye. I’m gonna keep making fun of the shit he said.

    posted in Boredom
  • RE: I'm so fucking disgusted.

    Soverign zeal’s response video still got me giggling
    i know i shouldnt joke but tfym “im sorry i wasnt very good at sex”

    PLUS THE RANDOM WAAPP STRAY TOO

    posted in Boredom
  • RE: I'm so fucking disgusted.

    Duncan I think most–if not all the VA’s quit, actually.
    I know Gianni (Sebastian) did, p.AI.nter’s VA did, the Imaginary Friend VA’s did, and I think HQ’s VA did as well… I can’t remember who else has stepped down, but I’m glad they are, and supporting Ren (NoLongerNull) in the process.

    posted in Boredom
  • RE: ....i've gotta stop listening to epic soundtracks...XD posted in Digital Art
  • RE: ....i've gotta stop listening to epic soundtracks...XD posted in Digital Art
  • RE: My liked songs recently got to 102 songs soo..

    Tenna!! | 💤🏝️ 42 and/or 66

    posted in Music
  • RE: I'm so fucking disgusted.

    Soverign I believe the document opens with a trigger warning, but thank you for bringing attention to it again.

    posted in Boredom