Next To Me (Part 2)
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If you tell me that “it’s time”, my alarm wakes me from my slumber.
There’s something mystical about gazing into your eyes, seeing every detail within the irises, even though it’s a dream. The glow of heaven leaks into the sun we dance within, the dark interior of this magical celestial body lit dimly by the distant paradise.
Sorry, Miss Gilpin, but I want to fly into heaven with Katie.
Whether it’s real or not, I want to be happy with this depiction of her. Even if my mind is the source of this figure, I’m still happy to spend my time with her.
Hell surrounds us as a dark, starless sky above an ocean of infinite depth. But with you and the light of the shining star, it seems more like Heaven to me.
Anybody can tell me to stop thinking about it, to say that I’m living a lie. But, what if I’m happy in this lie? It’s like I’m living in a time machine, but filtering it to only show the moments that brought me joy or bring me joy in hindsight.
The ghost of you dances with me every night, whispering sweet nothings into my ear as the day moves on to the next.
I want it, but I know I don’t need it. I know I don’t need it, but it brings me joy.
When I’m around your ghostly figure, I feel like I’m with somebody who cares about me like nobody else. You remind me of Ja-
All I see is you next to me, a ghost of you tangled up in my sheets. In a moment of realization, I awake to see the distant light of the real sun, the golden glow making my skin cold with a melancholy sting.
No feeling can compare to the emotions I feel when I hold your transparent hand in mine, not even watching Interstellar or War of the Worlds brings me half the amount of joy you do.
Tapping the keys on a piano leads to me eventually playing every song that reminds me of you. Making art leads to me drawing everything that reminds me of you. Talking to my friends and family doesn’t take my mind off of you for long. You invade my mind like you used to, but instead of bringing me sadness and longing, it brings me bliss.
No, I don’t see, feel, or even hear you when this happens, I just think about you. I wonder, daydream even.
One light, higher than the sun. It’s invisible to some, until it’s time.
The dim but warm light of Heaven’s frosty and blue tinted landscape greets me every time I lay my mind and body to rest, my eyes meeting your turned back.
When I step closer to your sitting figure, you suddenly move, standing up attentively and turning to meet me again with a sweet smile that never fails to make me feel warm.
How long do you wait? Does time move the same for you as it does for me, or is it stretched out like dreams commonly are? If it’s the second option, I sincerely apologize.
Any moment I get to sleep, I want to take it. I want to dance with you.
To slow dance with you, is to experience the touch of an angel.
I can’t stay with you forever, though. I have friends who need me too.
Nothing else matters as much as you.
Everyone is just going about their day as well, just waiting for the time they get to dream about what makes them happy.
Even if I’m happy with you, there’s something about you that makes me even more sad when I’m going about my various affairs during the time of light. I guess that’s just there to balance out my happiness during the pleasant hours we share.
Daytime is a curse that I must live with, but it’s all worth it if I get to spend time with you.
Anyone could tell me that this is unhealthy, and I know it is. But it’s easier than accepting that I’m actually alo-
Staying with this shadow of you is better than thinking about the fact that Miss Gilpin m’a gâché la vie.
However, even when I’m not thinking about anything, sometimes that thought reaches me faster than you can…
All I see is life’s normal transactions, but all I can process is the repeated feedback from my past, the intensity of my thoughts being monitored and forced above a certain threshold.
Don’t let me sleep without the comfort of knowing you’ll be there to dance with me in my dreams, Katie. Whenever I’m left to think about anything else I’m flooded by everything that has happened to me, like getting hit by a bullet train of emotion. Don’t leave me alone in my own mind, I need you to help me feel needed.
Oh, the sweetness of the air…
Why is everything so pleasant when I think of you? You’ve been out of my life for so long, and we only interacted once! …Why.
Outer space seems so cool to me, but I want to just go to that white ball in the middle of our personal hell with you. I want to escape this prison my dreams have led me to, start new adventures within the dreamscape instead of being trapped in the mysterious Sun we have found ourselves in.
Fly with me, help me understand and realize what’s wrong with me. I want to figure everything out and feel like I’m not alone.
Yelling into the abyss, I look for an answer. But nobody came to answer.
Only me. Only you. It’s only us here.
Understand what’s going on inside my mind. Please tell me what’s going on! I need to know why I’m alon-
This is… odd… Why am I feeling this way…? Why do I feel… Everything?
How am I feeling everything at once?
Alone at the edge of the universe… With you… Why am I even thinking about this kind of stuff when I’m right where I want to be?
Tell me, am I being selfish?
Say something!
“By the time you realize, I’ll be gone and you’ll be awake.”
“Eh?”
Everything is suddenly cut off by the appearance of a golden light outside my window. It’s daytime.
“No…”
Have I forgotten something? Why do I feel like I forgot the tail end of the dream?
All is alright, I’ll just ask her once I return…
Understand what’s going on inside my mind.
Nobody else knows me as well as you do, Katie.
Time is moving slower every time.
I can’t see what you think I see.
Nothing makes me happy anymore except you.
Grand oceans loom below us, but you’re always there for me when I need you most.
Mine.
Yours.
Drifting off to that world of slumber once again, I think about you. In my last moments of lucidity, I imagine you next to me, just behind me in my bed as I enter the landscape of dreams.
Right when I cross that barrier, I see that white ball illuminating your mystical and gorgeous frame as you sit cross legged on the glittering surface of the ocean.
Even now, I wonder why I’m writing this rather than dancing with you.
Maybe it’s the part of my brain that wants to see this document be done.
And all I see… is you next to me. A ghost of you, tangled up in my sheets. It’s what I want, not what I need; A
“My dear, come dance with me…”
Shadow of you. That’s been haunting my dreams…
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wow nice
