I want to fit in. (MASSIVE TW!!!!!!!!!!!)

[Siloxa922]

Everyday, I get excited to meet my friends, but once I’m there, I feel nothing to them, It’s as if, they don’t care about me, and that’s what’s pissing me off, I WANT TO FIT IN WITH THE OTHER OF MY FRIENDS. But can I even call them my friends? Or is it just I’m acting REEEALLLYY stupid and sensitive? I don’t get it. Everytime they laugh without me, I feel as if they’re laughing at me, I’m basically the weird kid of my class, or so I think, if they sit near me, or line up near me, they groan or ask someone to switch seats with them, and thats what makes me sad, REALLY SAD. Like yeah sure I say some weird ass things and be a bit annoying, but in all fucking seriousness I’m not that bad, and even to say I’m fucking sensitive, I’m an overthinker and I worry too much, not to mention the fact that a few days ago I thought hail got into a car crash while going to the shop.
I usually also think my classmates hate me, and also I’m really much a bitch, as in I get in trouble too often, and basically I keep saying "IM GONNA CUT MYSELF AND KILL MYSELF’, which fills their fuel to keep teasing me, and I can’t even argue back, I can’t bring myself to. And before you guys say ‘Oh just tell the teacher or stand up to them!’ Like I said, I CANT. I’m horrible at insults, and god fucking damnnit the teachers dont do SHIT about it, ‘Stop teasing her!’ or ‘Warning for you!’ IT DOESNT FUCKING WORK? THEY JUST KEEP ON DOING IT AND YOURE JUST ALLOWING THEM TO DO SO, UNTIL IM FUCKING SCREAMING MY HEART OUT FOR THEM TO STOP, THEN I GET INTO TROUBLE?

I’m fucking done, but that’s repetitive, and I can’t bring myself to commit either. I’m too young. TOO YOUNG.

[Blacknwhitepearlss]

@blackpearlscuddleslut I’m so sorry you feel this way :(( don’t listen to them all bullies just bully because they have no life and they are jealous freaks. If you ever wanna talk to me you can I’m here for you <33333333333333

[Siloxa922]

☆ HAILL ! ☆ (Bpc and Wpc’s n1 fan) said in I want to fit in. (MASSIVE TW!!!!!!!!!!!):

don’t listen to them all bullies just bully because they have no life and they are jealous freaks.

I don’t know… It just, I try to act nonchalant about it, but it just, it forms a lump in my throat, until im crying, and they laugh at me, I CAN HEAR THEM FUCKING SNICKERING. i really try to ignore it, but that just makes a fool of me, none of my tips work.

[A Former User]

@blackpearlscuddleslut i say this time and time again, if they make fun of you they are NOT your friends. They are people who pretend to like you, then make fun of you and talk shit about you to your face/to other people. i KNOW how that feels. you need to walk away and ignore them, bc threatening to commit only fuels shit.
Just ignore them. all they want is for you to break. And if the teachers aren’t helping, you need to end the issue yourself.

[Siloxa922]

@whatswrongwith-me said in I want to fit in. (MASSIVE TW!!!!!!!!!!!):

you need to walk away and ignore them

im in class and they just laugh at me if i just burst out of the room
(not in class rn)

[Blacknwhitepearlss]

@blackpearlscuddleslut don’t listen to those bullies :(( they aren’t worth it and they don’t have empathy or common sense.

[Siloxa922]

☆ HAILL ! ☆ (Bpc and Wpc’s n1 fan) why are there two types of hails am i hallucinating or some shit

[Siloxa922]

@blackpearlscuddleslut

[A Former User]

@blackpearlscuddleslut okay? they’re going to laugh. They’re going to make fun of you. that’s what bullies DO. That’s their entertainment. Either punch them in the face or ignore them.
What i do, to let out my own personal rage, is write about them in a notebook or something. Write all the horrid things you wish would happen to them. Write about how much you hate them. That’s what i do when i have pent up feelings.
If you’d like to vent/rant, my dms are open.

[Siloxa922]

@whatswrongwith-me that notebook thing might be cool but i dont want to get caught with it i might try it <3

also tysm this kinda made me happy

[A Former User]

@blackpearlscuddleslut hide it somewhere. Pillow case, in the back of your closet, hell, the drawers you put your clothes in. I don’t hide mine because my parents don’t read my personal shit, they don’t care to.

If you’re really worried, one time i wrote a particularly gnarly one, and i kinda abused the note. I wet it, stomped on it, smashed it in the dirt outside, to the point where it’s unreadable.[ i kind of treated it how i wish i coudl treat them, if that makes sense.] and then i buried it somewhere where by the time [if] someone finds it it’d be decomposed.

[Siloxa922]

@whatswrongwith-me said in I want to fit in. (MASSIVE TW!!!!!!!!!!!):

I don’t hide mine because my parents don’t read my personal shit

rolls eyes

but yeah ill try one of these at some point i might try the dr- no drawers wouldnt work maybe my curtains that might be good considering the fact my mum doesnt open them, not the left one

[A Former User]

@blackpearlscuddleslut i added in something that might be helpful, if hiding it won’t work.

[Siloxa922]

@whatswrongwith-me said in I want to fit in. (MASSIVE TW!!!!!!!!!!!):

If you’re really worried, one time i wrote a particularly gnarly one, and i kinda abused the note. I wet it, stomped on it, smashed it in the dirt outside, to the point where it’s unreadable.[ i kind of treated it how i wish i coudl treat them, if that makes sense.] and then i buried it somewhere where by the time [if] someone finds it it’d be decomposed.

ooh this is good ill maybe do that