'Lil' vent
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@a-l1ttl3d3vilish To hear that being yourself gets you bullied, that really puts a wrongful perspective on validation. I mean, it’s awesome that many people like you when they specifically want you to be something, but contrary to that, ‘being yourself’ is defined differently from anybody else. It’s a unique aspect that everyone has, and that it shouldn’t be shamed upon - being yourself is it’s own validation, one that shouldn’t be judged from others’ opinions on who you should be.
Being kind though sometimes does leave an open way of getting bullied. It really is a vulnerable spot that many can take advantage of, but don’t let that change yourself into different personalities that people may expect out of you, even though they, or you may feel okay about it.
It’s hard not to get influenced by people’s judgement, I totally understand, but ultimately being your best self that you destine upon yourself is the best validation that you could ever have
◞ 🎶 If words fail, music speaks! 🎶
𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥! - Gumball -
@a-l1ttl3d3vilish Just don’t get caught up in vanity, and shazz is right.
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@a-l1ttl3d3vilish If friends accepted others without making fun of them, that’d solve so much today. People absolutely do take advantage of kindness. People pleasers end up getting stepped on and it’s like you not only get stepped on but trapped under their feet. And I’ll tell you right now, there’s no getting out of there alone. Validation from others is pretty much the baseline to self-value/confidence. You can receive that in so many things though. It’s there if you look closely at life. If you have given your friends a chance to accept you and they still don’t, I’ll so much as say that you should find a new group of friends. Because if you want to be accepted and appreciated for who you are, you won’t get that from people who actively make fun of who no matter what you do (pleasing them or not). If you want to feel confident/valued, find the people who will help support/build that. That’s my advice to you. I’m curious what you think of the idea of finding new friends so let me know what your thoughts are on that.
Shazz_ Validation a two way street. Everyone actually needs validation from others. But souly depending on getting validation from others will absolutely put you in a mental rut. If you literally go your entire life surviving off only your own validation, let’s be real here, I don’t think anyone would be doing good mentally. Validation is usually seen as something someone gives you, but it’s interesting you bring up self validation. It feels different from validation from others though. And I think everyone should have a baseline of good friends who accept you so that you can build confidence. You can’t just pull confidence/self-validation out of nowhere.
Sapphire!!! That’s interesting you bring up “vanity.” I don’t think wanting some validation from people is vanity at all actually. It can get to the point where you rely on validation without working on validating yourself, but wanting people to acknowledge you for just being you is something humans need to mentally be sane. Naturally, everyone wants to be accepted and liked. And wanting that isn’t basically some sin you struggle with like vanity. It’s not vain to want friends who value you. Or vain to want to be valued at all.
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@Duchess I really do think that self validation is the most important out of any of the forms - I get your point, but yeah, you do rely on validation from your friends especially. It sets that baseline definitely.
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Shazz_ I agree. Self-validation is the best form of validation because it’s really hard to get anywhere in life when you devalue yourself. Even if everyone loves/acknowledges you, you have to actually allow that to build you up.
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idk why but i feel like shazz and duchess hate each other. Like they fight over who is the better and nicer one-
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@1zzylmao Haha, of course I don’t hate her :)
I really like it when we share our opinions on something that deserves the attention and care, not necessarily competing against who is ‘nicer’, haha ^^ -
@Duchess Okay.
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@1zzylmao ???
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@1zzylmao Oh my goodness xD Noo, I don’t hate him. I like debating on stuff we talk about. It never feels heated.
