i kinda did an "oh no.." since ive been gone for a couple days.
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uhm⦠my mental stability honestly has just been getting worse. like its really hard for me to even get out of bed half the time. and my mom and everything else is honestly making it worse. i dont know how to cope with anything anymore so all i do now is self-harm bc i dont know what to do. and thats what i did. ive been self-harming everyday almost and it honestly kinda used to hurt but now i just laugh about it. i dont think im okay. i say that i am but every time i actually think about it, im not. theres only two people now that make me smile and i actually mean it. but half the time that happens i always think negative about something and it turns to shit.
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ππ rylie Iβm sorry youβre feeling like this, Rylie. I still feel like thereβs a better alternative than harming yourself, but I know itβs difficult to know what to do exactly. I just donβt want you to feel like you need to hurt yourself to any extent.
How is your mom making things worse? -
Shazz_ she keeps treating me differently. like for example, she doesnt yell and scream at my brother but she screams and yells at me for everything i do. she threatens me that shes going to send me away. she takes my phone half the time and then gives it back an hour or so later and says βyou said something wrong so i took your phone away.β like bro.
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Shazz_ she told my friend that i was useless and i dont do anything.
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ππ rylie Oh wow /:
Iβm sorry, Rylie - it does seem like she isnβt doing this for any definitive reason, comparing your brother, other than maybe the things youβve done to yourself as part of her influence to you, but it seems wrong for her to treat you differently regardless, I can understand.
You arenβt useless - you do many many gracious acts, whether it be on here or in the real world, and Iβm sure your friend wouldnβt think twice about it, even if your mom told them otherwise -
Shazz_ aww⦠your amazing shazz. you made my night so much better. and yea, i do agree that she shouldnt treat me differently but yk, just makes me feel like more of a disappointment than i already am.
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ππ rylie Even so, you may feel like one, but you truly arenβt at all - I want you to know that.
I hope everything clears up soon, Rylie