Vent if anyone cares TW btw

[ImperfectxxKio]

@保志久美 thank you <3333

[A Former User]

@Foxaroo

I don’t want to be the person everyone sees me as.

You dont have to be who people see you as. Only you can decide who you want to be. I want to give you a real example of this because I know that it is actually possible. Someone I know has always seen me as the bad guy. They have this crazy idea in their head that I have always bullied them and I have problems when it is them who exaggerated it in their mind. I used to just be who they saw me as and I gave up trying to prove them wrong. But I dont anymore, and even though that person still thinks Im a bad person, I know who I am, and I stopped caring about what they thought of me. The key to not caring about what people think about you is to devalue them in your mind. If you care about someone’s opinions, they are placed in a high place in your mind, which isnt what you want in this case. To de-throne them, you need to tell yourself every day (or as often as you need) your truth. You tell yourself who you are, and tell yourself what people think isnt true because [state your reasons they are wrong]. That will help more than you know. It actually does something in the brain that rewires your thinking.

I’m done with being the back up friend.

I know what you mean. Being people’s second choice, or even third choice is not a good feeling. It is hard, but sometimes people have other friends, and that’s something to learn to accept. But, I do want you to be someone’s best friend, so just because you arent someone’s top friend now doesnt mean you have to give up hope on that. I also suggest not to sit back waiting for someone to be your best friend. Sometimes prioritizing people and treating them like the best friend you want will make them realize who really cares about them and are actually the best friend.

I want people to like me. I want them to see I’m not as weird as I’m made out to be. I can be pretty normal. And fun to. No body just knows it because no one’s ever tried to actually like me.

I hear you on a personal level… It is so so hard when all people see in you is something you’re not. Please do not lose hope that you will be able to find people who will take the time to know you. It is not right for people to keep thinking things without trying to know who you actually are. I am really sorry.

[A Former User]

@Duchess said in Vent if anyone cares TW btw:

You dont have to be who people see you as. Only you can decide who you want to be. I want to give you a real example of this because I know that it is actually possible. Someone I know has always seen me as the bad guy. They have this crazy idea in their head that I have always bullied them and I have problems when it is them who exaggerated it in their mind. I used to just be who they saw me as and I gave up trying to prove them wrong. But I dont anymore, and even though that person still thinks Im a bad person, I know who I am, and I stopped caring about what they thought of me. The key to not caring about what people think about you is to devalue them in your mind. If you care about someone’s opinions, they are placed in a high place in your mind, which isnt what you want in this case. To de-throne them, you need to tell yourself every day (or as often as you need) your truth. You tell yourself who you are, and tell yourself what people think isnt true because [state your reasons they are wrong]. That will help more than you know. It actually does something in the brain that rewires your thinking.

To add to this, Alot of people see me as a annoying un-attentive Attention-seeker

But everyone has really seen me lately.

I’m sure @Foxaroo We can see the true you too. The best you <3

[ImperfectxxKio]

@Duchess mhm I’ll try not to thank you for that your a amazing person and I feel you. Sometimes people aren’t appreciated enough for who they are and they just need to see that what they do is enough. I guess that’s the problem with me tbh. I don’t feel like I am enough. I think I just need to work on myself more then I do with others at this point. Because when my mate asked me when I care for other I’d they care back and I said no and when they asked then why still care all I could reply with was i ont know.

[ImperfectxxKio]

@保志久美 mhm thank you <3 I will try and show the real me more now tbh. I have got a bit better with it but only with people close to me. I just got to work on pushing more. It doesn’t help with my anxiety and the fact I’m a over thinker I guess

[A Former User]

@Foxaroo Yeah, it’s hard to feel like you’re enough when no matter what you do, you dont get the results you want in life. You could be looking for things in places that will never give you what you want. You cant fine good accepting friends in the same people people tell you you’re the things you’re not. I dont know how much you care about online friendships, but I’d be happy to be your friend if you want.

Dont worry about the thing you said to your friend. You dont have to care about someone just becuase they care about you. I guess it would be concerning if you were friends with them for a while and you still didnt really care about them, but it’s okay to be honest about that even if that’s actually how you feel. Maybe it just takes you time to develop those feelings towards friends and that’s okay. I think your statement to your friend just made you come off like you dont care about people. It would do you good to figure out how you feel and why you feel the way you do so you can better tell others without coming off like you dont care about people.

[ImperfectxxKio]

@Duchess yeah definitely it gets like that a lot and yeah. Also I’d love to be your friend. I dimd online people easier to be honest.

And yh I dunno I guess I just feel guilty when I’m not. I just don’t want to seem mean and rude so I tend to stick with that person. And yeah even if they hurt me I’d always stick with BC I guess I’m just that kind of person. It’s not good for me but it makes them happy so

[A Former User]

@Foxaroo I was friends with someone for a good while even though they were toxic and hurt me. I stuck with them because it wasn’t tecnically too bad, like if they bullied me and stuff, but it was just enough to make me feel sad about that person, yknow? I tried telling myself i could make it work, but it got to the point where i was just stringing myself along, honestly. Giving myself false hope. I dont want you to feel like you HAVE to be friends with people who hurt you just to make them feel good. If they dont know they hurt you, they should know. And if they dont care to change, its okay to slowly phase people out of your life.

[A Former User]

@Duchess said in Vent if anyone cares TW btw:

I was friends with someone for a good while even though they were toxic and hurt me.

I get that

I made a whole post about it

https://mpp.community/forum/topic/12138/ex-bestfriend-serious-tw-suicide-talk?_=1708520554641

https://mpp.community/forum/topic/7573/this-was-how-my-thanks-giving-break-was?_=1708520554644

[A Former User]

@保志久美 Oh wow

[A Former User]

@Duchess

And the center of all that, I was in the “I never had a best friend longer than (This) and that makes me weird” phase.

But I needed to know that friends come and go.

You’re never really certain if you’ve found the one true best friend.

[A Former User]

@保志久美 That’s very true. Friends, even ones you feel are lifetime friends, will go. Life changes. People move away. People change how they act. People lose interest in you, even. I had been friends with some girl in middle and highschool and then when I had to uh, leave school, we didnt talk much anymore. She tried to have me come over, but I couldnt, and then eventually she drastically changed all the sudden. She texted me a few years ago saying…some interesting stuff about herself. Let’s just say she changed everything about herself. Everything. So it didnt feel like i was really friends with the girl i originally was, so i kind of just stopped talking to her. I know that friendship died on my account, but to be honest, I didnt really care because I knew it wouldnt work out since we couldnt talk irl anymore, and for a lot of other reasons.

[A Former User]

@Duchess interesting stuff?

[ImperfectxxKio]

@Duchess mhm yeah thank you for that! And I hope your feeling better after that friend situation you didn’t deserve that

[Wubbrle the Wubble]

@保志久美 You’ve adressed the right bois man

[Wubbrle the Wubble]

@Foxaroo I hope you will feel better

[ImperfectxxKio]

Wubbrle the amazing Wubble thank you

[Wubbrle the Wubble]

@Foxaroo I gotta sleep so gn!

[ImperfectxxKio]

Wubbrle the amazing Wubble gn!

[A Former User]

@Foxaroo Oh, yes im very past that. Thank you. I have all of you guys so I dont feel like Im missing anything.