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MY BIAS IS HARUUU :3
#AlwaysBored
Posts
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Elias's Final design (Canon)posted in Drawings
I’m changing his last name to Vixin rather than Varen
Cause I think that fits betterI used both characteristics of his first Concept design and his second concept design and mixed them
This is his first concept design
This is his second concept design
And this is his final and canon design
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I can't keep living like this . (TW suicide)posted in Vent
I don’t even know what this post is about. It’s just a jumbled mess of all the thoughts I’ve been suppressing. You don’t need to read all of this. If I were you, I certainly wouldn’t. I’m just a guy you’ll never know. Just one soul amongst the masses.
I feel like I have no real personality. I’ve just taken mannerisms from people I know and made them my own. I’m always trying to say the right thing, and do the same things that all the happy people do. Despite this, I’m still the weirdo. My only personality trait is anxiety. At this point, I don’t even feel real anymore. I’m just an object. One that never gets acknowledged. Like a background character with no real purpose other than to just be there. People obviously don’t want to talk to me. They see me as a pitiful mess that they’d rather keep out of their lives. And the best way to do that is to never acknowledge me as a person in the first place
I also keep hurting people I care about. My friends don’t seem to realise how fucked up I’ve become. Whenever someone gets to know me a bit too well, I start to distance myself from them to keep myself safe. I physically can’t allow myself to be vulnerable, and I end up going to extreme lengths to keep myself isolated. In that way, my inability to allow myself to be vulnerable has become my biggest flaw. I don’t want to be like this. Maybe there’s just something fundamentally wrong with my brain that’s made me like this, or maybe years of feeling invisible has taken its toll on me.
Honestly, life feels kind of hopeless at this point. Maybe it was rigged from the start. I have no desire to keep on living, but I still cannot bring myself to end it all. Even though it would end my suffering, it would only cause more harm. So right now I’m stuck in limbo. I can’t keep on living like this, but at the same time I cannot die. Therapy isn’t going to get me through this. Im too far gone.
I’m sorry about this. I’m guessing around 3 people will read this, then immediately go back to acting like I don’t exist. If that is the case, it’s fine. I’m just thankful that you listened to me.
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“ Lirili larila is litro ai wdym you’re his number one defender “posted in Blog
I DONT CARE IF SHES AI, EVER SINCE I SAW HER IN THE FUCKING MUSIC VIDEO, I KNEW I WAS GONNA LIKE HER. EVER SINCE SHE WAS INTRODUCED TO ME. SHE WAS GENUINELY MY FAVORITE, I DONT CARE IF SHES AN AI INFECTED ZOMBIE CACTUS ELEPHANT. IM LITRO HER, SHES LITRO ME. YOU CLEARLY HAVENT SEEN THE FUCKING LORE BETWEEN HER. BESIDES, SHES NOT EVEN A BOY. SHE JUST LOOKS LIKE A BOY. SHES CLEARLY A GIRL.
okay sorry, im her number one defender
Yall don’t come at me saying i support ai and how it’s hurting people, I litro don’t support the fact it’s hurting people and the government and allat, im just her number one fan
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Isolate — Sub Urbanposted in Vent
I’m not what I want to see
Juggling insecurities
Locked inside my cage of shit
No I don’t want to be clean
I don’t want to be seen
I’m just waiting for someone to put me to sleep
Like I’m
I live such a lonely life
I don’t like to go outside
Please, please fucking leave me be
No, I don’t want dirty hands
I don’t want to be mean
But I’m sick of meeting new people on my scene
Like I’m aggravated, motivated, never gonna graduate
I’m stimulated, overstated, I just wanna get sedated
On the contrary, I just wanna meet a nice girl
Messy, not too sketchy, keep me tied up in the right world
Segregated, situated, hangin’ on sophisticated
Liberated, nauseated, I just want more medication
Individuality and blue light gives me headaches
Not changing for the better, I’m just changing clothes on weekends
Weather’s nice outside
I think I’ll close the window blinds, yeah
Sleep through my alarm
So that I skip the sunny part, uh
I’m not one to take a risk
I’ll suck your blood, no anemics
Garlic or sticks, I’m vampiric
I just don’t like the Sun(yes this is in the right category)
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RE: I'm making my OC's deceased sister (WIP) (Concept design) 🙂🤪posted in Drawings
EditorPianist Thank you so muuuhhhh
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RE: Sometimes I don't feel realposted in Vent
Sphinx it’s almost the same as daydreaming except it’s involuntary… It’s a response to trauma, stress, or super low/depressive moments/Episodes
