I don't understand. [TW: Mentions of Suicide, Abuse, Self Harm, SA.]

[Youre_Just_A_Pun_To_Put_It_Politely.]

None of the people I know (Besides Grey, Yae, Soggy, Des, Kat, Kat #2, An Catherine) understand that I can’t be happy after what I’ve been through all my life. My bio dad had to abuse all of my family members, including me. And even try to [SA] us. And somehow get the fuck away with It. And also, Not to mention that ever since my mum was almost put In the hospital, and/or ACTUALLY PUT IN the hospital, Nobody gave a shit. And my mum became very, very abusive towards me an my family members for a couple of years. And my bio dad would still come around. Not to mention that When I was around SEVEN years old, I fell. My dad was literally In front of me, He pushed me NEAR His […] And KEEP me there. And also plug my nose AND cover my mouth, making me unable to breathe or do anything until my family said something. Thank god he got kicked out. And then Another time. He comes over, and my family has to walk me an my 3 sisters downstairs so we can do something without us going alone, an he touches us. And every time I think, or he gets mentioned, I get very emotional an sensitive because of him. And not to mention, I also tied to kill myself at the age of SEVEN. THE AGE OF SEVEN. FUCKING SEVEN. And I almost succeeded. And then after allat. You have Scarlet, Olivia/Oliver, And Janet. Dying or killing themselves. All because I became fucking friends with them. If I never met them, Or just walked away from them, It wouldn’t have happened because of me. I lowkey just wish that everything was just gone, I wish I was still the weird freak that nobody likes, Or the quiet kid that never talks. Instead, I wanted to be fucking social, and change myself. And talk 24/7. And not to mention I’m dealing with a fucking crisis, of a fucking unhealthy and toxic relationship. Kinda wish I never existed. And my friends always think I’m making up shit. Which I don’t. And yet they still attack me for either not being happy, or being happy. Make up your damn mind. And people wonder why I don’t like to share my feelings. I end up being attacked for “Faking My Vents” Or being the kid that “Always Vents”. And never happy. People don’t understand the real meaning of happiness when they’re around me, apparently. Because I “Bring them down” With my “Negativity”. Not to mention that I can’t rely on the people that know me, because I can get hurt from trusting the people that I know. So I always go with the people that don’t know me, but I know them. It hurts once you really think about It. And I don’t understand why or how people attack me for not trusting the ones that know me. Why? Just why? Tell me why? Why can’t I get a break of someone telling me, to change. So that me an them can be friends? Or lovers? It’s not right or fair for me. And they attack me, because I don’t trust them enough. We’te just friends. Nothing more or less. Now It’s less cuz you fucked up your chance. You picky ass. Now you have to deal with It. I hope you fucking get injured. And don’t survive.

[This Is not targeted to anybody here besides the person that Grey might know.]

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta thats fucked up- i went through the same thing- my dad would sit me on his lap and- have a b***** but uhm- my dad would hit my MOM and ME just cuz we were women- one time i tried to stop my dad from punching my mom i got threw on the ground- and stomped- in the face- im so upset that people have to go through the same things i did. actually, no yours is worse this is not okay. tf is wrong with your dad?

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta Listen I know you’ve been through some BULLSHIT. I know you don’t wanna exist. But listen. I love you. I’m sure there are MANY other people who love you. I don’t know WHAT the fuck I’ll do without you. I don’t know if this will change anything but I hope you’ll read this.

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta If you never existed, I would have never known this form of happiness when I’m with you. :)

[Youre_Just_A_Pun_To_Put_It_Politely.]

@Grey_From_Pokepasta_Real said in

my dad would sit me on his lap and- have a b***** but uhm- my dad would hit my MOM and ME just cuz we were women- one time i tried to stop my dad from punching my mom i got threw on the ground- and stomped- in the face

I am Very sorry that you AND your mom would have to go through that. It must be very traumatizing for you both. I hope things get better. The hell are wrong w/most dads In the worlds?

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta nah im good i learned to eat pain

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta but i think my mom actually has ptsd from it- cuz i hear her crying every night cuz my room and her room shares a wall-

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta ngl i know one things changed- i used to suck up the pain now the pain leads to anger- WHICH actually made me put my hands on my dad once- i never got beaten since

[Youre_Just_A_Pun_To_Put_It_Politely.]

@Grey_From_Pokepasta_Real said in

i learned to eat pain

I still haven’t yet-

[A Former User]

@Grey_From_Pokepasta_Real i actually had him in a tight chokehold till my big brother pried me off

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta i dont cry anymore

[Youre_Just_A_Pun_To_Put_It_Politely.]

@Grey_From_Pokepasta_Real said in

ngl i know one things changed- i used to suck up the pain now the pain leads to anger- WHICH actually made me put my hands on my dad once- i never got beaten since

I could never try to do some shit like that, even tho my pain leads to anger as well, I’ll just deal w/It because he’s so threatening-

[Youre_Just_A_Pun_To_Put_It_Politely.]

@Grey_From_Pokepasta_Real said in

i dont cry anymore

I cry ocasionally-

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta i punched his bitch ahh he dosen’t even SPEAK to me anymore i actually think he fears me

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta oof-

[A Former User]

i used to have (NOT) sparring matches with 15 year old guys so-

[Youre_Just_A_Pun_To_Put_It_Politely.]

@Grey_From_Pokepasta_Real said in

I actually had him in a tight chokehold till my big brother pried me off

Damn, But He deserved that shii

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta said in I don't understand. [TW: Mentions of Suicide, Abuse, Self Harm, SA.]:

He deserved that shii

THATS WHAT IM SAYING MY MOM IS ACTUALLY MAD AT ME FOR PUTTING MY HANDS ON MY DAD AFTER HE HURT ME

[Youre_Just_A_Pun_To_Put_It_Politely.]

@Grey_From_Pokepasta_Real said in

i used to have (NOT) sparring matches with 15 year old guys so-

That took me a second to understand , also. Goddamn-

[A Former User]

@Your_Local_Sun_Or_Yuta yuh