overstimulate d
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i know nobody cares enough to read this, but too bad. i need to get it off my chest.
It’s stupid. i’m just- stressed. everything’s built up, and i’m tired from last week. music camp.I come home, and my grandparents are here, making the chicken coop [which i didnt know at the time] and though tired, sweaty, disorented [i woke up like literally 1 minute ago from a nap] me and my messy haired self were forced to say hi. i took that literally and only said hi. i was then called ‘rude.’ i’m tired. i didnt get like- any sleep last night because a dog was barking next door in the hotel the whole night [though it’ not its fault. the dog was by itself and hungry. the hotel was working to feed the dog and find the owner when we left.]
i go inside, and my mom ‘cleaned’ my room for me. my bed doesn’t even look like my bed anymore. different sheets, books are on the wrong shelves- shitass fucking job. i’m tired, and im trying to fix my bed. she opens the door, and i say
“sorry- i’m trying to fix my bed-”
snd she goes on about how she was thinking my aunt might sleep over to take care of the dog so she changed the sheets. whatever- so she tries to help me, and i [tired, ‘i just want to do it myself because i know you don’t know how i like my bed’ me,] go
“no- sorry- uh- i can do it myself…”and then she says
“And now you’re being rude to ME.” and i’m like
“sorry- i’m- tired- being a bad daughter-”
and she left. later she comes in when i’m trying to clean up and is like
“do you want burgers or pizza?”
this is how the following conversation went. [m] is my mother and [
:] is me: "Sorry- pizza, please. But- uh- if you don’t have pizza, i can have a burger.[M]: “Why are you crying-?”
: “Because i’m tired, and i’m being a bad daughter.”]And then my mom hugs me. for a really long time. and i’m- VERY- uncomfortable, to say the least. i just bite the inside of my lip really hard [it’s a wonder i wasn’t bleeding], close my eyes, and hope it finished soon.
[M}: “Let’s start over. Hi.”
[M]: “I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s both eat pizza together. What do you want?”
: “uh- just- plain pizza from [pizza place 1].”[M]: “that’s boring. Plain?”
: “Uh- sorry, i can have something less boring?”][M]: “no, that’s what you want.”]
: "I’ll have- chicken bacon ranch pizza from [pizza place 2]. Less boring.][M]: “Do you want chicken bacon ranch?”}
: “No, but it’s less boring. i mean- the pizza’s good. so i’ll have tgat.”]then my mom leaves.
notice how i make sure that i state SHE’S the victim and i’m the bad daughter? i do that before she does something similar on her end. because as we all know, my mom’s a narc.
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imagine being on my profile [𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎] it sounds as if you have been going through a hard time at home, stress and sleep deprivation from camp, then found out your personal space being destroyed by your mum cleaning ur room and your grandparents being present, cuz it does seem this made you feel overwhelmed, considering the fact you were called rude for saying hi and wanting to fix your own bed yourself, and you also said you felt uncomfortable when your mother hugged you, and i get it, i really do jordan, obviously if you wanna vent to me, you can, only when im not sleeping my ass off
