ignore this i just need to tell the void my feelings
-
ive written this several times by now but i think the short story is that i hate everyone including myself i hate everyone and what theyve made me become i hate myself for being born because every time i look back at little me i tear up and know that my potential as a human being was shattered from the start. i have shame from the monster ive become and the lies and filth i live in. the other i live with on this earth. i have a hatred that has been building for years because i knew as time progresses all i see is more bullshit. i cry for little me. i cry for the innocent. i cry for the feeling of ignorance. i always felt so small and every passing minute i feel smaller. i hate being me.
-
every relationship i make feels like a waste. ive broken apart several relationships including my own family’s, ruining my life further. i remember telling a friend in elementary i felt like a curse to anyone i cross paths with and im sad i still feel the same way a decade later.
-
i dont feel like my own person at times. sometimes i wonder if everything ive ever said and done was me. i regret waking up at mornings i regret looking at people i regret asking a question i regret wearing my hair down. all i am is embarrassing
-
this is the first time i admit it anywhere but ive been avoiding mirrors for the past few years. i just dont like who i am anymore. i just want that tomorrow i dont wake up. and i wake up days later with a smile and that no one ever bothers me again, and i stay at peace. i know im childish, i know im not mature or realistic. id never survive this horrible world. just let me lie down and leave me
