Just about everyone out there has said “I can handle this,” whether in a non-toxic, or toxic situation.
Thinking about your emotions when you tell yourself you can “handle” something is the defining factor that tells you whether you’re encouraging or just gaslighting yourself. Maybe you can physically handle something, but mentally handling something is totally different. The mind controls the body, so it’s important to also take it into consideration.
There are two types of “I can handle it” syndrome. One, is encouraging yourself in a healthy non-toxic situation, like doing a project, a task, or learning a new skill. But what’s important with self encouragement is that it makes you feel happy. You should have joy in wanting to continue with something. And importantly, you have to have a goal. You need to make a goal so you know what you’re reaching for. That’s what you encourage yourself to achieve. If you feel stressed, or worse, feel like you’re about to break, but you still say you can “handle it”, it turns into syndrome two: Self-gaslighting.
By gaslighting yourself, it’s you telling yourself something that isn’t actually subconsciously (or consciously!) true. It’s usually a coping mechanism when knowing you can’t handle something. When you say you can do something, it prolongs your mind’s ability to fight on in a situation because you keep hammering it into your brain. But there’s only so much someone can withstand until they break. If you feel unhappy continuing on, but you still say, “I can handle it”, please stop. You’re only hurting yourself by that. Seek people or places to turn to. I should also remind you that seeking help for things isn’t you giving up. It’s just turning a new page in you handling your own challenges :)
The moral of this is to make sure you know what you need and want. The more you realize those things, the better things will be because it highlights what you need to do to take care of yourself, and frankly, live a happier life.
