@welmyymelmyy I totally understand that honestly. You kind of feel locked into trying to make her happy for at least your own sake / safety. It feels like you have to play her game. I mean, that’s what it seems. I can see it feeling like emotional blackmail. Like “I got to do this or else she has the power to do this,” and often parents know that. And that’s why I consider it “blackmail.” That sort of thing makes anyone feel anxious nonstop, wondering when you didn’t do enough and when you’ll have simple things taken away. So, yeah, it does in a way make you feel like you literally have to impress her.
May I ask if you ever thought about telling her these sort of problems you have with her? If not, I completely understand. Besides literally trying to talk about it and making her known of the problem, there’s unfortunately not much else you can do in terms if physical action. Since clearly nothing pleases your mom. But you also can’t really not try to please her either. I suggest at the very least try to keep sane. Keep a good head on your shoulders. Don’t let her insults get to that good head. Dont doubt yourself. It’s 100% easier said than done, but it absolutely is possible to take on that kind of dicipline.