@shaggy2dopelmao Wow, thatโs a lot. Firstly, when youโre going through so much, the last thing you need to think about is us โdeservingโ something out of you. I am just glad to know how things are with you. I did notice you were gone for a long while.
Addictions are pretty hard to break, so donโt be angry or upset you relapsed. I think the first mistake people do in relapsing is beating themself up. Because we all go backwards in mistakes at some point. Small ones, even. Not to say you did feel mad, but just thought Iโd make that clear in case. For people suffering from addictions, it can feel like a black cloud that hovers over you just waiting till you give into it again. I think having that feeling of โwhen will come back?โ sort of thing definitely plays a role in it actually coming back. But thatโs a whole mindset thing that is hard to change. And isnโt your fault if itโs that way.
When dealing with challenges life gives you, the first thing you want to go back to the addiction. And thatโs why itโs harder to get through addiction when your lifeโs already pretty messy and you just want something to go to. Becuase itโs actually comforting. When you take out the thing youโre addicted to, it can feel like then youโll have nothing. And thatโs hard too. There are always other things to go back to. Even if itโs not the same level of relief you get, thereโs always a healthier alternative. I would have to talk to you more about it but only if youโre up for it.
Iโm sorry you had to go through everything else. Itโs a really bad mix of events. Itโs tough since itโs not stuff you can control. Iโd love to talk if youโre comfortable but if youโre not up for it, I get it. Just glad to see you, Fin.
