@shaggy2dopelmao Wow, thatās a lot. Firstly, when youāre going through so much, the last thing you need to think about is us ādeservingā something out of you. I am just glad to know how things are with you. I did notice you were gone for a long while.
Addictions are pretty hard to break, so donāt be angry or upset you relapsed. I think the first mistake people do in relapsing is beating themself up. Because we all go backwards in mistakes at some point. Small ones, even. Not to say you did feel mad, but just thought Iād make that clear in case. For people suffering from addictions, it can feel like a black cloud that hovers over you just waiting till you give into it again. I think having that feeling of āwhen will come back?ā sort of thing definitely plays a role in it actually coming back. But thatās a whole mindset thing that is hard to change. And isnāt your fault if itās that way.
When dealing with challenges life gives you, the first thing you want to go back to the addiction. And thatās why itās harder to get through addiction when your lifeās already pretty messy and you just want something to go to. Becuase itās actually comforting. When you take out the thing youāre addicted to, it can feel like then youāll have nothing. And thatās hard too. There are always other things to go back to. Even if itās not the same level of relief you get, thereās always a healthier alternative. I would have to talk to you more about it but only if youāre up for it.
Iām sorry you had to go through everything else. Itās a really bad mix of events. Itās tough since itās not stuff you can control. Iād love to talk if youāre comfortable but if youāre not up for it, I get it. Just glad to see you, Fin.
