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Shazz_

Maybe this won’t be helpful if I decide to talk about this on this forum, or maybe it might be (I’ve known many of you for years) but I’ve been needing some reassurance because maybe I’ve been the one doing wrong

I guess I’ve just been, wanting to be personally loved and appreciated by a person I could call my girlfriend, but I’ve been through so many people it’s probably embarrassing and, I hate myself for it. The counter’s stopped at 6, at least of what I can remember. Each experience felt really nice, knowing that maybe this person was the one for me but as every one of those experiences went, it proved to be really heavy on me and light on them. I don’t think I’ve ever treated anyone badly or intentionally hurt, but a trend I’ve come to realize is just what pettiness can do in a relationship. I was cheated on twice, lied to, hurt because I in my honest heart didn’t know something my significant other may have taken it as. And those feelings when you’ve felt hopeless and betrayed really affected me the most. I get so hypertensive I wish I could just reverse time.

I think I also overkill a lot of what I have done as a sign of my appreciation towards those people I wanted to love; some of you may know that I write my own music, and I often create pieces for a lot of them. I probably do so much that it’s considered a risk to continue.
I try really hard to find the peace whenever it is possible in a relationship, but the sad result has always been something that could’ve practically been prevented, and understanding their emotions in those situations is honestly my specialty, as long as they know I want to be genuine in helping them as their boyfriend.

I just rarely open up about this, some of you lovely people might expect someone like me to be perfect but I have my flaws, and I have wishes to be personally known and loved, understood and embraced. I’ve had some acute depression over these years, also due to family, demands and events, but especially just, thinking about loneliness. I guess that’s my fear because I always want to invite someone into my happiness and to share it with me. But it’s been very silent for me, emotionally.

Thanks for listening ❤️‍🩹

Shazz_

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1.5 million views on a forum post is crazy! I never knew this got this many over the years
Also heyaa everyone! How’s it going <3

A Former User

♥『𝑀𝑜𝓍𝓍𝒾』♥ I’m really sorry you’re dealing with all of that. Honestly, reading this hurt my heart a little because I can tell how much you genuinely care about him and how badly you just want him to be okay. It’s exhausting when you’re trying so hard to care for someone, check on them, make sure they’re sleeping, eating, taking care of themselves, and instead of feeling appreciated, it feels like they’re shutting you out or snapping at you for even trying. That kind of thing really does hurt, especially when all your intentions are coming from love.
And I completely understand why you’re upset about the communication too. Being ignored, put on DND, or feeling like someone suddenly doesn’t want to talk to you can make you feel pushed away even if that wasn’t their intention. I know people go through things mentally and sometimes isolate themselves, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less for the people who care about them.
I don’t wanna make this about me at all, but me and my boyfriend have been having some problems too, and I understand that feeling of loving someone so much while also feeling frustrated, hurt, and confused by the distance between you. It’s such a hard feeling because you wanna be there for them no matter what, but at the same time you start wondering why caring has to feel so painful sometimes.
I just hope you know your feelings are valid. Wanting communication, honesty, and basic respect from someone you love isn’t asking for too much. I really hope things get better for you both soon, because I can tell you care about him deeply.

Shazz_

Yeonjun 𝜗ৎ . Heyaaa!

A Former User

zack I’m hoping that we can boost up the site somehow.

A Former User

Hello everyone, I wanted to take a moment to address my recent inactivity.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been navigating some personal and mental challenges that have made it difficult for me to be as present and responsive as I typically strive to be in my role as an administrator. While I care deeply about this community and the responsibilities I hold here, I’ve realized that I need to take a short step back to properly focus on my well-being and regain the clarity and energy needed to continue supporting you all effectively.

Please know that this decision wasn’t made lightly. Being part of this community and helping lead it is something that genuinely means a lot to me. However, I also recognize that in order to show up as my best self, I need to take the time to work through what I’ve been dealing with behind the scenes. During this period, I may be less active than usual, but I will still check in when I can and ensure that things continue to run smoothly alongside the rest of the team.

I truly appreciate your patience, understanding, and continued support. It does not go unnoticed. I’m looking forward to returning to my usual level of activity soon and continuing to contribute in the way you all deserve. I have a doctor’s appointment next Monday to see if I can get on medication or do something to help me and my mental health so I can be better for the rest of you guys. You can still come to me about anything. I will leave my snap and discord in my bio in case I’m not online here at the exact moment that you need me.

Thank you guys for being such a supportive and understanding community.

Shazz_

]- Jinx -[ Thank youu!!!

Shazz_

Duncan Heya! :)

Shazz_

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