Women Being Toxic In Relationships. (TW: Abuse, Manipulation, etc.)

[borrowed_time]

I am aware that I just arrived here however, I would like to make it known that women can be abusers too. Yesterday, my ex-girlfriend, who I’ll call Mel (not her real name) came to get her stuff and it reminded me of this community and how many people online date here. I’d like to make everyone aware that you can be a victim as a male.

Me and Mel lived in the same city, however, we met on Omegle about 3 years back. We exchanged numbers, FaceTimed/called a lot and eventually, we ended up meeting up at a coffee shop, realizing we went to the same school and well, it went on from there. About 6 months into our friendship, she confessed feelings and I reciprocated them. We started dating about 2 weeks later and for the first 3 months everything was great. We were in the honeymoon stage, every day we hung out together, we were like “couple goals” at my school. Things first went downhill when my band got together. She complained about me not loving her enough to spend everyday with her and how I should mean more to her than some stupid guy group because we’d get married one day. So I explained to her that they were more than just guys and that we made music and loved it. She ignored me for about 3 weeks, then came back apologizing for being immature, I took her back. Then she started manipulating me into not even spending time with my own family. I was being isolated from everyone. We couldn’t even have a conversation without her lovebombing me or asking me for intercourse. I told her that I’d rather wait until marriage and every time she’d accuse me of not loving her more than my religion. She’d blame me for every issue in our relationship and then be lovey the next minute. She’d hit me a lot as “flirting” even if I asked her to stop. She constantly broke my boundaries and it was a cycle. Then I found out she cheated on me, I tried to leave her and she accused me of being wrong for it because “If I cheated with other guys and still came back, doesn’t that show how loyal I am?” I blocked her and she started stalking and following me and begging me to talk to her. I was scared for my own safety a lot of the time. She threatened to kill me. We got back together a few months later, by this time it was about 8 months ago. She cheated again. This time I left and never looked back. I moved schools and avoided her at all costs. I saw her once in a grocery store and I broke down. She tore me down mentally in ways I cannot describe, constantly being gaslighted, told everythings your fault, hit and dealing with bruises and having to explain them was the worst. My family hated her but I couldn’t leave her because I was scared and too blind to see that she’d never leave me alone until I put my foot down. When she came to get her stuff last night, all I had to say was fuck you. And then I slammed the door right in her face.

So yes. Women can be abusers too. I feel like not enough men speak up about it because we’re called “pussies” for being dominated when, abuse can go both ways and the fact people are too blind to see that baffles me, genuinely.

[Rēsh-1]

I’m so glad you spoke up about that, I hope you are feeling better now about the situation and that you may recover

God bless ya :)

[finn.in.outer.space.]

reminds me of what happened with my ex girlfriend. good on you for getting out and slamming the door in her face.

[borrowed_time]

@laraiia Thank you! I’ve been in therapy and I’m doing much better now!

[A Former User]

even if we don’t know you, I can say with confidence all or most of us are glad that you’re doing better in recent months

[Bandit]

Borrowed Time Bro, I’m genuinely sorry to hear that. Nobody should have to go through something like what you’ve had to go through. I’m glad that you’re better though, and therapy is helping