āReminds me of my first tour of a nuclear reactor I trained in at college. We walked on the bridge over the reactor, I looked down, and then immediately crouched and hooked my arms under the railing.ā
āThe tour guide chuckled and asked, if I was scared I would fall in.ā
āI said yes.ā
ālike a liar.ā
āBecause in that blue glow of the nuclear reactor, I saw beauty like none have ever seen.ā
āI yearned for the blue glow. The longing was a screeching madness, wailing as it clawed at the walls of my mind. Commanding me to leap over the railing, and bask the radiance of the sapphire waters.ā
"I was certain that if I hadnāt crouched down, hadnāt abandoned the smiling face of God, my body would have pitched me over the railing. "
āBefore my mind could choose.ā
āMonths later, I had noticed several posters with closeup pictures of the reactor. I awkwardly asked the director of the training program if they sent in divers to take pictures of it.ā
āHe gave me a knowing look and said Iād die by the time I got halfway to the reactor.ā
āI thanked him and scurried away.ā
āThe light still calls to me. It was a human equivalent of a bug zapper.ā
