I’m back from camp :>
Not dead/ghosting yall i swear
I’ve just been super busy since then, so I haven’t had like any time to log on. :>

G U H.

What was it like to lose? All my life, I’ve been held to impossibly high standards that I’ve managed to reach. I’ve been scraping the bar, but I’ve reached the standard. I finally made people proud! I felt good for a while, but this proved that my maximum effort, the effort that exhausts me to no end, the effort that has been forced from me, the effort that takes such a heavy toll on my body, is someone’s minimum effort.
The feeling of dread that seeps back into my body is cold. I had known the warmth of happiness and love and care, but now I must go through the cycle of being compared to someone else. Insults, demeaning and derogatory comments make their way back into my life, dragging me down.
I’m fighting for my life in this sea of brutality, struggling to survive, desperately trying to stay afloat, while I watch them float effortlessly, like the perfect being they are. The water they swim in is so clean, and pure. Mine is tainted with blood, sweat, and salty tears. What was it like to lose? It was like normal. It was the norm for me. The only reason it hurts so much is I was doing so well. And then I went and ruined it.
But I must stand aside and accept my place, below them.

Also this is a real person that Identifies as an ACTA or Age change to another.

It’s similar to RCTA, ECTA, or DCTA (Race change to another), (Ethnicity change to another) or (Disability change to another)

I honestly really hate the [x]CTA. It’s hard to put into words, but that is not something you can change. You cannot change your race. You cannot change your ethnicity. Those are literally genetic. You cannot change your age-you cannot undo what time has done to just change a number. You cannot change a disability-if you have one, you can’t just change it because you’re feeling ‘silly.’ That can be and is very offensive to those that have those disabilities. It’s frustrating, and honestly, I’m not sure how people can actually live with themselves like that. They should know that this kind of behavior is socially and kind of morally wrong. :/

As you look around the surrounding area, you realize just how much damage has been caused. Burning rubble of buildings, abandoned and not. Screams of far-off families, trying to find their loved ones. You see your fellow party members on the ground, dead, or nearly dead, bleeding out into the deep snow. Only you remain, on the brink of death, your energy slipping away, and you can feel your hands getting colder by the minute, with Morro in front of you, an amused smirk plastered on his face.

“Oh, you poor little dove… I was really hoping that you and your friends would have proven more of a challenge for me. Such a shame I was able to make them all drop like flies.”
Morro saunters closer to you, stopping just in front of you, looking down at you with that wolfish smirk, as you scramble back in the snow, leaving a trail of blood behind you as you go.

“Why did you go after them?! I’m the human he found to save the world! It’s me that you want!”
Morro chuckles sinisterly, the kind of laugh that would send a chill down your spine and make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. “Oh, little dove…I know that you’re the one I wa-”
“Then why?! Why them?! Why not just take me and kill me already?!”
“Because it causes you more pain, little dove. The more pain you experience…the more enjoyable it is for me.”

You keep scrambling back, desperate to be away from this man. No…this monster. He killed your friends…your ‘family’. It doesn’t really seem to matter how far you try to get from him, though…he’s gaining on you. You’re losing blood. Lots of it, and fast.

“You’re a real- bastard, you know that? A monster. You killed my friends! My family, just to make me hurt more?! Do you realize how fucked up that is?! How would you like it if you were in my shoes?!”
“That’s the difference between us, little dove–I wouldn’t be in your shoes. I am…so much more than a sad little adventurer who got told they could save the world…”

This is based around the D&D campaign me and my friend are running.

The fight is almost over…Morro…he’s on his last leg. He’s getting desperate. He can’t last much longer.
“Just give up, Morro. You know it’s almost your end.”
“Like I’ll surrender to you, little bird,” he rasped. He was exhausted.
“Hold him down.” Her voice was firm, with no room for argument. Upon hearing her command, the others do as she asked. His arms are restrained behind his back, the others on guard, in case he tries something stupid.
“Kaz. Your dagger.”
“Cass, I-”
“Now.”
“…” Kaz reluctantly handed over one of his daggers, Cass’s small smile turning into a wolfish grin as she approached Morro, now shaking in his human restraints.

“Hold him down, 'til the boy stops shaking, hold him down while I slit his throat… hold him down while I slowly break his pride, his trust, his faith and his bones! Cut him down into tiny pieces, throw him down in the great below! When people wonder where the man is, only the ocean and we will know!”

“WAIT! We- we can talk about this,” he basically started begging.
Cass stabbed his hand to the floor, watching him scream out in agony, ignoring the other’s nauseous and disgusted looks, her eyes gleaming with murderous intent.
“STOP! PLEASE!”
You didn’t stop when I begged you to leave my friends alone, so why would I stop?!"
“Cass, please,” Sebastian interjected.
“Silence, Sebastian. Your brother must learn his lesson for the pain and suffering he caused not only this realm, but for me as well.”
“Cass, Sebastian has a point.”
“Kaz…” Cass twisted the knife in Morro’s hand, causing him to cry out in agony again. “I almost lost you to this man…no…this…monster, and yet… you’re sympathizing for him?”
“Cass…”
“ENOUGH, Kaz! I will not take any more criticism from you. I’m doing what I must.”
Cass rips out the dagger from Morro’s hand, plunging it into the other one, giving it the same treatment, a cruel smile on her face. After mutilating his hands, she moves to his shoulders, stabbing them repeatedly.
“HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE HELPLESS?! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW PAIN?! ALL OF THE SUFFERING I’VE BEEN THROUGH-”
“Haven’t I suffered enough?! STOP!”
“YOU DIDN’T STOP WHEN I BEGGED YOU! TOLD ME TO CLOSE OFF MY HEART!”
“STO-”
Finally, Morro’s words are cut off by the ting of a blade, and his words are now replaced by raspy gurgles, and blood dripping down his throat.
“After…everything you’ve done…how will you sleep at night?”
“…Next to my boyfriend.”

@Wubbrle-the-Wubble Kat started it and made it tradition. <33

RIP yourlocalsanjifan, you will be missed.

Yippee-
Am sweet 16 now

Α. Σ. Γ. said in A poem for that bitch:

Μισώ σε με ολότελα, αχρείε νάρκη,
Που βρόντηξες βάναυσα το κορμί μου,
Στην ίψι σου κρύφτηκες, σαν δαίμονας,
Κι έσπειρες ανείπωτη αγωνία.

Σιωπή μου κρατούσα, κρυφτός πόνος,
Αλλά τώρα φωνή μου ψυχής μου έξω,
Αποκαλώντας σε δριμές καταρες,
Στιγματίζοντας την ατιμία σου μου.

Σαν αετός ύψιστος, όμως, θα πετώ,
Αφήνοντας πίσω τα ίχνη σου σκοτεινά,
Κι ας γεμίζεις έτσι τον κόσμο σου με χάσματα,
Εγώ θα λάμψω ανέμελα, ψυχή αθάνατη.

Vaguely translating to:
I absolutely hate you, you wretched mine.
Where you brutally thundered my body,
In your shadow you hid, like a demon,
And you sowed untold anguish.

I kept silent, hidden pain,
But now my voice my soul out,
Calling on bitter curses,
Stigmatizing your dishonor to me.

Like an eagle supreme, however, I will fly,
Leaving your footprints dark behind,
Even if you fill your world with gaps like this,
I will shine carelessly, immortal soul.

Honestly? Slay.

“…Morro. A…displeasure to have to hear your voice again.”

“Oh, but it’s quite the pleasure to see you again, Cassandra. I’ve been dying to see that crushed expression again, like when I nearly killed your little friends.”

“…”

“Cat got your tongue, little lamb? Too afraid of the big, bad, wolf??”

“Of course I’m afraid of you, Morro. You’re the kind of person I fear and despise the most. Besides, you- you nearly killed my friends- my family. The people I would follow to the end of the world! But I’m not afraid to admit that.”

“Ah, so the little crybaby finally grew a backbone. Interesting. It won’t matter, though. You will never make it through my conduits.”

“I’m not a crybaby, Morro. I’m just in touch with my emotions, which you clearly aren’t. Because you’re a monster, who has no regard for others. You don’t care how others feel, or what they do! Only when it might benefit you in some way do you start caring!”

“My feelings died forever ago. All my mercy is gone. I am nothing but a monster, and I wear it like a medal of honor. And you know why no one can do anything about it? Because I’m a god.”

“Someone like you shouldn’t even have the title of being a god! It should be a privilege! I mean, look at you! You said it yourself; your feelings died long ago. What else died with you? Your morals? Your- your compassion? Well, I suppose compassion could be considered an emotion, but your empathy? Are you even human anymore? You wonder why people live in fear of you, when the reason is obvious! You use others for your own benefit, like King Rito, which is only to cause harm to others! I didn’t want to hurt him, but if it means taking you down…you…you monster, then- so be it, damn it- Someone like you doesn’t DESERVE to live. Someone like you- doesn’t- you don’t DESERVE to be happy anymore. I hope- I hope whatever caused you to become like this was deserved. I hope- I hope that all the pain someone or something put you through was deserved, because that’s exactly what you already put me through once. Yet I managed to keep my humanity! So what happened to you that you had to become such a monster?! What…justifies your actions?! What gives you the right to act like this, all high-and-mighty?! HUH?!”

Instead of getting pissed off like last time, Morro seems…dumbfounded. Almost…lamentful. “Do you really want to know? Do you really care to understand why I’m a monster?”

“…I’m listening.”

“The reason I’m like this, is because I lost something dear to me. The love of my life. My… Eliza. My family hated her, for no reason.”
He looks dead a Sebastian for a moment.
“And then, she died. Inexplicably. No cause of death identified. I got upset. I got mad. I went insane. I started killing monsters. I started killing people. I got so strong that I killed a god, just so I can inflict suffering on the world, to avenge my Eliza.”

Cass glances over at Sebastian for a moment, before returning her gaze back to Rito- er…Morro.
“I understand that- that losing someone like that…is hard. Really hard, but…that…I’m sorry, that doesn’t justify killing other people. Innocent. People, at that. But… Think about her for just a moment… Is that what your Eliza would have wanted? Is that truly what she would have wanted you to do? Was to inflict so much pain onto others, just to make them feel as you felt? To make them go through what you did? Imagine if Eliza was here now… What…what would she say to you? To the monster you’ve become?”

Morro’s cold expression changes to one of sadness as he thought about the little bard’s words, as he stands in silence.

“You didn’t think about her, did you? You didn’t think about what she would have wanted…”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s too late to reverse what I’ve done. My heart is filled with hate and I will keep plaguing this land.”

“It’s not too late, Morro. You can still redeem yourself! Just…think of Eliza! Do things she’d want you to do. For her! In her name, you can- you can change your ways. you can still better yourself, and learn from your mistakes. You can try and redeem yourself, if you just…let go. Let the conduits go…and give up. Do it for Eliza. You- you became so blinded by your rage and grief, that…that you lost sight of why it happened in the first place–of who you were acting for. I can see that you loved her, and that her death caused you immense pain and grief, but you let it take over your heart and soul, and now all that’s left is an empty heart, that only knows how to hate, and slaughter, and bring chaos to what you know to be the world.”

★☆☆☆☆ wait until you find out they fly.

Toast I need to be him bro-

Toast real- he’s so- snarky yet zesty

Toast cough cough sebastian shoelace cough cough

Toast YES OH MY SWEET BABY GAYS

…Its me guys…Still Des…just- hyperfixatingggg really really badly.

Blake not me literally existing: 😒💅 (jk)

Zeera the Nightmare Jackal's 2nd account bro that’s so real. Me with Sebastian Solace’s VA.
I fear I have things to say.

when I find out the Pressure soundtrack is on Spotify, and I listen to it while writing my book (it’s actually helping a lot!)

★☆☆☆☆ hap birf :D