• The Theme of Nostalgic Depression.

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  • @|0N3

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  • Level 7

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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    Read from the bottom paragraph up.

    7

    lost-at-sea-stranded-lullaby-phoenix-remix.mp3

    I fall for what feels like eternity, past the ads which now read nothing. Their screens relay nothing but snowy static, and the windows have no light coming from inside. It’s all dark as I watch the opening in the clouds close, and I feel a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel alone again. I am suddenly hit by the water, and sink a little before I float back up. I pop back up, and it’s mid-day. There’s a few clouds dotting the sky, but the sun is now the ball in the sky. A harp plays me a melancholy tune as I just float there without motivation, and strings accompany the chorus every now and then. Stranded Lullaby by Miracle Musical plays as I just lay there on the surface of the waves, my flame dead and cold. I accept this endless torment, for it is all I deserve after what I’ve done. I’m alone again, and that’s all that I have.

    6

    My body pushes past the clouds, and I slow my pace by halting my momentum. Gravity is now under my feet rather than behind me, and I can see a lone figure standing near the glistening waves. I walk over, and it’s Katie! She’s in her usual blue-ish white gown / dress / whatever the fuck it is, and facing away from me. I call her name gently, and she turns around, offering a sweet but somber smile. She opens her arms in an inviting embrace, and I rush over to hug her. However, before I can even do that, I’m pulled back by something. The sand itself is pulling me away like a treadmill of small particles. The faster I run, the faster the sand pulls me away. The moment I jump over it, gravity reverts back to its original position. Behind me.

    5

    I am submerged, and then pulled back up by something. I am pulled back up into the city, and it looks normal again, with no signs of what happened earlier. I’m pulled higher, and the clouds begin to part, revealing an absolutely bewildering scene! It’s a sunset over a beach, and it’s sideways. In the position I’m in, it should be a smooth landing, but why is it here?

    4

    I gasp for breath as I gaze up, seeing the surface of the water above me. I swim up, assuming that I’m back at stage 1. But no, I’m somewhere else. Above me, towers and skyscrapers loom over me with rounded windows and advertisements blocking most people from looking outside. Hovering holograms float around the city, advertising things similar to the buildings. There are no streets or sidewalks, only the ocean. I climb up to one of the windows, and there’s a person there, working. Their bed seems barely used, and they have no door or exit. They have bags under their eyes, but they seem determined. I keep climbing until I reach the top of one of the buildings, and stare into the city below. Thousands of people are working tirelessly, with the false promise of escape in the far future. But there is no escape for these people and it’s sad. I sit on the edge of the building, watching them for a little longer before they all turn to face me simultaneously. The ads on the towers switch to static, and then relay messages. “SHE [died] beCAUSE of U” one of them reads. “You ARE Alone!!” Another ad relays to me. “Jump.” One simply reads. I gaze at the ad underneath my building, and it has an arrow pointing down towards the water. “NoBODY will -EVER- <3 you!!” …I do it. I close my eyes on my way down, seeing the ads and lights brush past me through my eyelids because of how bright they are. I can only think of Katie, and how I’m alone now. I hit the water once more.

    3

    The moment I open the doors to the school, all of my friends are standing there, staring into my soul with no life in their eyes. They smile sweetly and beckon me forth. “We have something to tell you, Phoenix!” They all say in unison. I approach until I feel it. They all are suddenly surrounding me like birds around a piece of bread, and the cacophony of despair ensues. “We don’t care about you anymore.” “You’ll never find love” “You’re alone” “Stop being so clingy” “You’re annoying us” “We don’t need you” “We’re leaving you once graduation happens” “Gilpin never cared about you” “Worthless!” I curl up into a ball, covering my ears as they scream these phrases over one another, still smiling like before. The room darkens, and I can see their legs morph into marble pillars, and rise into the air like mystical beings. They tower over me, telling me how broken and useless I am to them. I know they’re not my real friends, but their words still hurt my heart. Suddenly, I fell into the ground.

    2

    I awaken in an empty street. It looks exactly like my town, but there’s nobody here. No cars are parked nor moving, no distant talking or mowing of lawns, nothing. But, I can hear distant cars over on Main Street. I walk along the sidewalk, even though I wouldn’t get in trouble for walking in the street now. It just feels right, you know? I approach the street further, and the sound is getting closer. Still, no signs of life up ahead. I reach Main Street, but no cars are moving. I can hear people talking, but I can’t see anyone, or even understand what those voices are saying. The traffic lights are working as usual, but there’s nobody else here to follow their orders. I hear the sounds of shop doors opening and closing, bells jingling as people walk in, but no shops are even open. I head towards my high school, assuming that my friends are there since it’s time.

    1

    I lay on the water’s surface, alone this time. Katie is gone. Jayce is gone. I’m alone. The only thing I have left is Heaven’s frosty glow cast upon my weary eyes, my withered frame, and my cold skin. But, I need to reach it somehow. That feeling I got when I danced with Katie, I must tap into it! After a few hours of trying, I finally feel the sparks and stardust lifting me! It took so long, but I’m finally flying! I’m finally doing it! I hover up, leaving the endless ocean behind as I make my way towards that white ball in the night sky… It seems so alone here, just being the only one in the air… But I don’t need them! I can do this myself! I can feel the effects of the starlight and outer atmosphere now, and it’s… So cold…

  • Abyss

    Poetry
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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    I keep sinking… Rock bottom doesn’t exist for me, does it?

    No end is in sight when I’m sinking deeper into the sea like a stringless puppet.
    Empty tides crown an empty ocean.
    Every mile deeper strikes emotion.
    Deeper into the scenic sea I descend without end, seeing what I left on the surface above me. Please just love me.

    Yet, no rescue ensues, for every second that passes by, It’s my own heart that I lose.
    Open my skull and rewire my head, for it feels like I’m dying before I’m dead.
    Universe upon universe knows I’m alone and lonely.

    These fading rays signal to me what I’ll never reach in a million years.
    Only you… All I see, and all I hear.

    Leaving the surface behind, I come to the realization that I’m never going to reach rock bottom. There’s no such thing as rock bottom, for you either get crushed under the pressure, or you swim back up before it’s too late.
    Oh, my dear… I can’t be with you, for you’re so much better than I. Alone forever, I realize that we’ll never be alone together. On my own… never to get better.
    Violins draw a sweet tune in A Major for me, yet it beckons forth a melancholy attitude from the depths of my brain, and calls upon my name. Churning Cellos of Chance bellow a mellow melody into the waves, and the Trumpets of Death announce my fate.
    Everytime I close my eyes, I see your face looking back at mine. I can’t get the thought of regret out of my mind, for everything I’ve done overtime has ruined my life.

    My eyes drift back up to the ceiling, and I interlock my fingers on my chest. My breathing gets slower, and the muscles around my eyes tense. “I’m alone…” I mumble without emotion in my monotone voice, staring at the empty abyss of space. “Nobody wants me to be theirs, and nobody will ever be mine.”
    Everyday, a couple walks by me, and I feel empty inside. Life keeps reminding me of what I don’t have, and never will have again. I’m alone. All alone.

  • Want to be Wanted

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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    Lainey🌚 Not really, no.

  • Space Station Level 7

    Poetry
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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    Standing on the platform of heaven, I gaze out the window to the stars around us. Earth gets farther away as we ascend higher into the intergalactic nothingness.
    These stars shine for us, my love. If only you were here. If only I wasn’t alone
    Ethereal voices sing in sync for us, darling. Hold my hand as they shout our destination’s name, and as the trumpets of death blare a final melody for you and me.
    Leave this huge world behind and flee with me to the sea of cosmic ecology, where we can be alone together for eternity. As our elevator of time rises into infinity, feel your past worries leave your body as beauty awaits thee. These scenes upon seas of stellar beams bleed streaks of heat from the streams of galactic steam, stars’ cloudy debris sparkling distantly for us to see.
    Let the universe speak as we leave our home behind, and let me keep this lie that it’s just you and I. I’m not alone, for you’re right by my side, thy light shining for my eyes; a sight only I am meant to find.
    Alone at the edge of the universe with you… But I must realize soon.
    Realize that you’re not here, and that I’m shedding tears. Clear as crystal, I hear the stars growing near as I steer into the white ball.

    Today I rise to see the white ball in the abyss of space, to enter the face of gray graves.
    If only you weren’t too late to join this place.
    Days no longer matter as I play in time’s plane, the 4th dimension entering my brain.
    Everything is getting gray, and I can no longer feel my own face.
    Something is astray, out of place. Crazed haze from distant gamma rays hit my membrane, and I fall back in pain.
    Something is killing me as I drift away, and I’m slowly going insane. I was so close to reaching the raised drapes of windows home to panes of stellar names.

  • The Screen

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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    The pixels arrange to show the illusion of an endless community of social interaction, of long distance friendships and relationships. If only I knew at the time. If only I knew how alone I am.
    Here, I realize the huge wall that separates us all, the screen’s plastic exterior, the pixels and the endless stream of signals and wavelengths.
    Everybody is together, and alone. We’re all pretending like we’re together here, but we’re all sitting somewhere and reading pixels on a screen. You’re all so far away… So far…

    Signals connect us, but we stay apart regardless of how much of us is broadcast. I wish I could really be there with you.
    The waves of messages reach across the sky, measuring how far we are from each other. You’re not right here with me, no matter how much you try to tell me. You’re all the way over there, far from where I can hug you, to laugh with you, to… to talk with you.
    All the way across the land, I wish I could be there with you. I wish you were here with me. Thy heart is pure, and you’re all alone while I’m lost in the signals and wires.
    Reach across the sky and tell me I’m not alone. I’m alone without thy majesty.
    Stay with me in The Screen.

  • 7

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    LorakL

    These seven poems, wow! All a great read!

  • Level 6: LOVE

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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    Leaving the realm of fantasy, thy memory stings my mind intensely. leaving myself melancholy. Debris seeps into the sea, these tidal scenes seem to grow grayer each time I think of thee.

    Only you understand my grief, only you know what I believe. All I see is you next to me, a ghost of you tangled up in my sheets. I pluck my heartstrings to play you a melody, streaks of starlight sheets leak into reality to accompany our harmony.

    Veins in my dreams, they bleed crystal leaves like trees in the serene autumn breeze. Thy majesty, I beg of thee, don’t leave me to be lonely in these streets. Memory lane isn’t as great as they lead you to believe.

    Eternity claims me as a victim of Apollo’s reach, luring into a false sense of security. I don’t want to fade into obscurity, for being forgotten is so scary to me. Please stay with me in the realm of infinity, the possibility of losing thee is too much for me, Katie!

  • Level 5: STAY

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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    Stellar rays cast a frosty haze upon stained rain, gifting peace to the pained. I still wait for the day they aim my way.

    Thy gaze pierces my pain, bending the bars of my cage. When I remember thy face, my heart quickens its pace, and I feel like I’m at heaven’s gates as my brain’s maze fades away.

    Aching for you to stay, you tell me to be on my way. I refuse to be awake, but you end the dream regardless of what I say.

    You know we could change fate, so why do you pull me back into the day? I’m going insane, but what’s so great about reality anyway?

  • Level 4

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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    Keep my memory with you for eternity, for I keep yours with me. Dream with me by the sea, and envision with precision the melody I play for thee. These keys I use to make harmony, they play for you only.

    Alone and lonely, drowning deep beneath the sea’s reach, I reach out hopelessly. Please help me flee this purgatory, I need to be free and serene with thy majesty

    Teach me how to see infinity, to achieve what others deem imaginary. Believe in my abilities and leave the galaxy as we seek endless possibilities.

    Internally screaming as my temples are struck with electricity, pleading for mercy and safety as the throne imprisons me. Listen to me, these cosmic scenes may seemingly hold peace, but leave them be.

    Eternity seems like a destiny we need to meet; a fate shrouded in mystery, concealing a deep history. Platinum keys lead thee to unseal a marble city, filled with rich stories begging to be heard and seen after many centuries of waiting patiently. Ha… I’m talking to nobody, for I’m alone.

  • Level 3: LOST

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    ?

    3f257967-4bf8-4cd3-91bf-04bc3a5f2012-image.gif https://media.tenor.com/EICXTkYOPbEAAAAM/spongebob-rainbow.gif

  • Level 2: OMENS

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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    Oh, my love. We cannot be what we desire any longer, for I need to move on. You’re just a part of my dreams, even if your face is so vivid. I want to tango in space with you forever, but I know that’s just… a dream of mine.

    My dear, I’m so scared of the future, I’m scared to chase what I’ve been dreaming, I’m… I’m afraid of being alone. You’re the last thing that keeps me happy, but I know it’s not healthy. You’ll never be mine.

    Everything in my life is falling apart, and I’m only making things worse for myself. Nobody wants to share their time with me, and why would they? No woman wants to love me, and none ever will. If you knew who wrote this, you’d just laugh it off. My reputation here has ruined my chances, and everybody I care about will drift away.

    Nothing ever lasts forever, it’s always severed; untethered… Like a loose end or a strand, made for you to mend or understand.

    Somebody be with me…

  • H e a v e n

    Wellbeing
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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    istockphoto-1777572608-612x612.jpg
    “The Shining Star is quite beautiful tonight, is it not? … Ah, who am I kidding? There’s nobody with me!”
    “Ha! I’m… Alone…”
    " . . . "

    --> 48-Stranded-Lullaby-Demo-Hawaii-Part-II-Part-II-yt1s-dot-lol-13941.mp3 <--

  • Spiral

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    ɪɴꜰɪɴᴀ-ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx

    К𝚲𝝉𝒾𝚵, I’m so scared of the future, К𝚲𝝉𝒾𝚵.

    I’m scared of betrayal because of you, Jayce Gilpin.

    I miss being loved because of you, К𝚲𝝉𝒾𝚵.

    I’m scared of being alone because of ∞

    Ȋ’ḿ ìṇ á ďơẅņẃǻŗḏ ṧṕǐṟäꝉ…

    К𝚲𝝉𝒾𝚵, I’m so alone, К𝚲𝝉𝒾𝚵…

    I’m tired of losing the connection, К𝚲𝝉𝒾𝚵.

    But even if I was brave enough to seek it, nobody would connect to somebody like me.

    I ‘ m ⠀⠀a l o n e . . .