Audio compilation of betrayal.
-
I had a girlfriend, and she took my mind off of all my problems whenever she would send a text. Her name was Jayce Gilpin. It was a long distance relationship, but we made it work. She was all the way in Texas, and we were planning to meet sometime. Her sister, however, once Jayce had begun to talk to me less, informed me that my girlfriend was seeing 10 other guys. I looked at my screen in a blank expression, processing this. I asked Jayce if this was true, and she said something about being “polysexual”. I told her that it wasn’t an excuse, and that she never even bothered to ask me if this was okay with me. I broke up with her, then and there.
A few weeks passed, but on February 11th, her sister told me something devastating. “Jayce Gilpin had hung herself three days ago.”
I stared at the cupcakes I had prepared for my birthday, but didn’t really see them, you know? I was lost in thought when somebody asked if I was okay. I replied with a yes, but I was lying through my teeth. They believed me, and wished me a happy birthday. But, it wasn’t a happy one, it was one that was flooded with melancholy thoughts and grief. I didn’t tell anybody.
I told my friend Andrew Iverson about it, and he was there for me. He had gone through a breakup too, and was used by someone as well. He said my situation was much worse than his, but I just wanted him to be happy, rather than worry about me. I just want my friends to be happy.
I usually spent most of my time thinking about her. I used her phone contact as a diary, texting entries every night before going to bed even sadder than before. I said stuff like “I still think about you, and wish you were here.”, “Get out of my head, just stop haunting my dreams with your angelic face.”, “I wish I could join you, not in the fact that you’re dead, but just stay in those dreams with you.” and “All I See, is you next to me. A ghost of you, tangled up in my sheets. The guilt, it eats me up, from the inside out. The words are on the tip of my tongue, but won’t leave my mouth.”
Suddenly, one night, I got a reply. “I love you”.
I cried tears of joy, utterly broken and sleepless. My tears of joy eventually led to full on Ugly Crying. I sent text after text, but never again did the other person reply.Memories:
Jayce Gilpin.mp3Emotions:
Ghost of you.mp3 -
-
the name dropping is WILD
-
@finneass She doesn’t deserve respect after what she put me through.
-
@finneass Right
-
Infina-Phoenix said in Audio compilation of betrayal.:
Suddenly, one night, I got a reply. “I love you”.
id cry. genuinely. my ex texted me once and i full out cried when they asked for me back, no matter how much i loved him when he asked i knew i couldn’t in my right mind go back to that level of fucking pain ever again. i’m so sorry you’re going through this and i’m here if you need to talk to me.
-
@finneass I feel horrible right now.
-
Infina-Phoenix id figure. that just shows you how much you cared.
-
@finneass I hate her, but I love her so much that I made the first song in memory of her while I thought she was dead.
-
Infina-Phoenix it’s always a love hate relationship with toxic people.
-
@finneass She wasn’t toxic though. She made me feel good about myself, she motivated me to achieve what I wanted to do.
-
Infina-Phoenix cheating is toxic regardless of how good she was elsewhere, if she didn’t care enough to ask about being poly then how much did she really care?
-
Infina-Phoenix Oh my gosh, do you think the sister replied or something? That’s insane. I would have been so confused and also scared. I dont know how you went through this. I am glad you shared though, honestly. Also this makes the story you wrote make a lot more sense lol
-
Also, yeah this is why Im not really into people being poly. Most cases seem to abuse the definition of being poly.
-
The Jayce Gilpin compilation was an amazing listen! While the variations sound similar, they all piece together perfectly; the change to the laid-back part half-way in was almost symphonic as I’d describe it. Also just read your Audio compilation post, I’m sorry about what happened, sounds you’ve been through much this year, though I’m glad you had help too. Hope things are getting better soon.
Ghost of you, I felt that aligned well with the second half of the story, beginning all scattered and closing in a firm note; wow!