losing hope honestly
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I feel like the people I care about don’t care about me. Of course, they talk to me and act like they care for me, they say they do, they feed me and buy me things and care for me physically. For so long, though, I’ve been in a lot of physical pain and I don’t know why, to the point where it legitimately makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me and that whatever is wrong with me might be fatal. I’m in so much pain, that it feels like I’m truly going to die to it. But, when I complain about my genuine suffering to the people I care about, they cannot take me seriously, they tell me that whatever I’m experiencing can’t be that bad, how they go through worse, that I’m being dramatic, and that even if I am feeling that bad, there’s probably nothing wrong with me and I’m worried about nothing. My pain doesn’t really feel like nothing, but thanks for your fucking input. It was a rant and vent about how I don’t fucking feel good, not a plea for your help or your pity. But, you know, considering I care about you and you’re someone deeply important to me and you have a real role in my life, I would rather you pity me than act like you don’t even give a shit. Wanting sympathy and pity from other people isn’t inherently a bad thing. I complain to the people I love because I want them to show care for me too. Wanting people to care isn’t a bad thing, and you shouldn’t act like it is. Why can’t the people I care for and love, care for me the same way I care for them? I’m not exactly hated by the people I love, I think. I don’t think they hate me or dislike me or don’t care about me. The way they behave just makes me feel negatively because their behavior, while unintentional because they don’t think of it the same way I do, isn’t kind. Next time someone bitches at you about how they don’t feel good, they probably just want you to care.
gurt: yo
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I’m legitimately fucking suffering and all I got in response was my boyfriend with fucking sobbing emoji. What’s even funny about this to you
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zack look, I don’t know you, at least I don’t think I do, but that’s fucked up. I"m really sorry about your situation and genuinely hope it gets better, because the feeling of unreciprocated care and love is a horrible thing, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. I hate that I can"t give any real advice, because I"ve never been in a situation as bad as yours. I’d be happy to talk if you want to vent or anything [despite my common lack of being online] and I promise you that everything I say is genuine. Sadly, I feel that some people offer to do the same, but it’s out of just straight up formality. I’m really sorry about what’s going on with you, and I genuinely hope, for your own mental health, that it gets better.
