What expectations really mean.
When you expect something out of someone, it is something you personally value. Such as expecting someone to be honest, and expecting someone to love you in return. Sometimes people expect nothing, and whether that’s rooted in you not valuing your expectations or you being afraid to make someome feel like you were disssapointed in them, expectations are imprtant to have. Someone at the gym wants to lift heavy objects not because it’s easy, but because it will make them stronger. Same with expectations. If you constantly give someone the 5lbs weight thinking it will make them feel better about themselves, youre not doing that person any favor because they will never become as strong as they could.
If you struggle with having expectations because of yourself.
It is hard to get past the part where you have to first stop being afraid of harming someone. But expecting someone to do something is an act of love in of itself. It means you want the best for that person. Teachers assign homework and expect it to be completed not because they just want you to do busy work, but because they want you to learn. They value your education. Just like you should value whatever it is you expect of someone. Because whatever it is, it is to strengthen that person. If they fall short of the expectation, them feeling like you’re dissapointed is just a part of the process of them growing. So if you feel guilty for that and you decide to snuff out the disappointment you feel with saying it’s okay, you’re washing away any potential growth that person could have taken to make things right. Now that person doesn’t have any reason to do better, even if you were originally disappointed. That is harming not only yourself but the other person in the long run.
